*MARCH 12, 2023*
*The Warlock, Mr. America and Neyzor Blades are in The Lair watching The Oscar’s ceremony. Warlock is on the right side of the couch, Mr. America on the left with Neyz in the recliner*
W: Alright, here we go. We got this.
N: You don’t have anything, you’re not involved in this.
W: Sorry I’m invested in this. We want Austin Butler to win Best Actor and Elvis to win Best Picture.
A: Yeah, Elvis! Elvis! Elvis!
N: You two are fools, but whatever makes you happy.
W: Shhh, shhh, shhh, quiet! They’re announcing Best Actor*
TV: And the winner is…….Brenadan Fraser for The Whale!
*America and Warlock slink back on the couch*
A: Dammit.
N: Awwwww, I love Fraser. I bet he deserved it.
W: Yeah…..yeah….I’m not that mad. Brendan Fraser rules so I’m not that upset, still, feel bad for Butler.
A: Its okay, we still got Best Picture.
*Later on*
W: I’m getting nervous. That Everywhere movie swept almost every category.
A: Its okay, Elvis! Elvis! Elvis!
N: Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t win.
W: Okay, here we go.
TV: And the winner of Best Picture is……Everything, Everywhere, All At Once
*Warlock and America again slink back, Neyz stars giggling*
N: Hahaha, sorry you guys but the fact you got so swept up in this only to lose is funny.
A: Its not funny….Elvis should have won.
*America and Neyz continue to talk back and forth but Warlock sits motionless against the couch*
A: But I’m not gonna bitch about Brendan Fraser, you guys are right, he rocks. Michelle Yeoh deserved Best Actress too.
N: Who’s Ke Huy Quan again?
A: Data from The Goonies and Short Round from Temple of Doom.
N: Oh yeah.
A: Jamie Lee Curtis over Angela Bassett was a choice.
N: I like Jamie Lee. What do you think Warlock?
*Warlock doesn’t say anything*
A: He hasn’t moved in like five minutes.
N: Hello, anybody home?
*America waves his face in front of him*
A: You okay? Its not the end of the world.
*Warlock slowly rises from the couch and says softly*
W: I quit.
*Warlock goes into his bedroom and shuts the door*
A: Sheesh, its not that deep.
N: I know, I’ll deal with him later.
*4 MONTHS LATER*
*Warlock and America are in The Base just chilling when America says*
A: So what are we watching for our anniversary special?
W: What are you talking about?
A: Its our 8th anniversary special of Warlock’s Movie Realm, what are we watching?
W: I told you months ago, I quit. I’ve had enough of this garbage.
A: Oh get over it, remember how mad you were when Parasite beat Joker, these things happen.
W: Yeah, and I’ve had it. My cousin never got over Ed Norton beating Michael Corleone for Best Actor, this is going to haunt me.
A: You’re going to quit over that?
*Warlock thinks for a second*
W: You know what, yes, I am going to quit. But I want some closure first.
A: What do you mean?
*Warlock flicks his wrist and the TV turns on*
W: If this is the end ol boy, I may as well go out with a bang. We ARE going to have an anniversary special.
A: Okay, what are we watching.
W: ELVIS.
A: Wait, really?
*Warlock turns to the camera*
W: Welcome to The Base for our 8th Anniversary Special. Tonight we are taking a look at a movie that was ROBBED of Best Picture this year. We are going to be watching the 3 hour biopic of ELVIS.
A: Can’t go wrong with that.
W: ELVIS was nominated for 8 Oscars and didn’t win any of them. Best Actor, Best Editing, Best Costume, Best Sound, Best Makeup, Best Cinematography, Best Production Design and Best Picture. Austin Butler lost out to Brendan Fraser on Best Actor and Elvis lost Best Picture to Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.
A: You’re still not over that?
W: Oh I’m just getting started, but the others can wait for now? What is ELVIS about? Its the story of Elvis Pressley told through the eyes of Colonel Tom Parker played brilliantly by Tom Hanks. He goes from a shy, unassuming kid that loved to perform “black” music into a cultural icon. Along the way are the trials and tribulations that come with fame and fortune with Colonel Parker lurking in the background.
A: Yeah he was a rat.
W: Amen to that. So, this movie was nominated for Best Picture so that shows you how well it was received when it came out last year. I already know this is going to be epic so I can’t wait to watch it again. So grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman because its time for ELVIS.
Written by Baz Luhrmann
Directed by Baz Luhrmann, Sam Bromell and Craig Pierce
Cast:
*America reads the tag-line*
A: “The life of American music icon Elvis Presley, from his childhood to becoming a rock and movie star in the 1950s while maintaining a complex relationship with his manager, Colonel Tom Parker.”
W: What a ratfink Parker turned out to be
*After the review is over*
W: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have unfinished business to attend.
A: What do you mean?
W: Let’s just say, its go time. We’re going to find out if the other movies are worthy of their praise.
A: What other movies?
W: Don’t worry about it. Let’s just say I got two movies to watch and then I quit.
*Warlock leaves The Base and drives back to The Lair. He walks in the door and Neyzor Blades is in the recliner*
N: Oh hey, how’s Mr. America doing?
W: He’s fine, but you and I have a date tonight. A movie, but not just any movie.
N: You haven’t watched a movie in months, NOW you want to do one?
W: You bet your ass I do…..
TO BE CONTINUED