*The Warlock opens the door to his lair, he’s wearing a Boston Bruins #1 jersey, blue jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. He’s holding a Mega Pint of Barq’s Root Beer*
W: Welcome to my lair…welcome I don’t think so, but enter. Enter my lair if you dare. I’m your host The Warlock.
*Warlock shoots fire into the sky and walks inside*
W: Today is a holiday of sorts in the United States, its February 12th which means its Lincoln’s birthday. Who’s Lincoln you ask? We’re going to find out alllllll about him.
*Neyzor Blades is in the recliner wearing standard attire*
N: The President of the United States, Abe Lincoln.
W: Yes, that one.
N: Oh no, we’re not watching the vampire movie are we?
W: No no no, I’ve already seen that. No, we’re doing the movie I was supposed to watch with you and your dad years ago.
N: Which one?
W: Tonight’s movie will be the 2012 two and a half hour biopic LINCOLN starring Best Actor winner Daniel Day Lewis. Rather than tell his life story, this will be about the trials and tribulations the president went through as the Civil War went on. A war he started by the way.
N: How?
W: I’ll explain later. LINCOLN actually was nominated for Best Picture and I think Lewis won Best Actor for this role. The movie should be damn good especially with Steven Spielberg directing it. Although it might be boring, the only way to find out is to actually watch it. So grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman because its time for LINCOLN.
Written by Doris Kearns Goodwin and Tony Kushner
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Cast:
*Neyz reads the tag-line*
N: “As the American Civil War continues to rage, America’s president struggles with continuing carnage on the battlefield as he fights with many inside his own cabinet on the decision to emancipate the slaves.”
W: Yeah, half the country was NOT happy Lincoln tried to abolish slavery without them voting on it.