656. Xanadu (1980)

*The Warlock opens the door to his lair. He’s wearing a Warriors vest, black wifebeater, blue jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. He’s holding a Mega Pint of Dr. Pepper*

W: Welcome to my lair…welcome I don’t think so, but enter. Enter my lair if you dare. I’m your host The Warlock.

*Warlock shoots fire into the sky before walking inside*

W: Today is a sad day here at the Realm as actress Olivia Newton-John has passed away at the age of 72. In honor of her I will be taking a look at one of her famous movie roles that I’ve wanted to see for a long time but for an entirely different reason.

*Neyzor Blades is in the recliner wearing standard attire*

N: Grease?

W: No, we already did that 5 years ago for Michael Biehn Appreciation Month. I’m talking about the 1980 musical XANADU!

N: What is that?

W: That’s what I’m going to find out. The reason I’ve always wanted to see this is the actor Michael Beck made it big in 1979 for his role in the movie The Warriors, hence my vest. The problem was in 1980 he was in XANADU and his career never recovered. On top of that, an old Gene Kelly is in this too. So how bad is this movie that it killed Michael Beck’s career so shortly after it started really? That’s what we’re about to find out.

N: So this is a bad movie?

W: That’s the best part, I don’t know. It could be good, it may not be. All I know is Michael Beck never had another hit movie. So grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman as we honor the late, great Olivia Newton John with XANADU.

Written by Marc Reid Rubel and Richard Christian Danus

Directed by Robert Greenwald

Cast:

Olivia Newton-JohnKira
Gene KellyDanny McGuire
Michael BeckSonny Malone
James SloyanSimpson
Dimitra ArlissHelen
Katie HanleySandra
Fred McCarrenRichie
Renn WoodsJo (as Ren Woods)
Sandahl BergmanMuse #1
Lynne LathamMuse #2 (as Lynn Latham)
Melinda PhelpsMuse #3
Cherise BatesMuse #4 (as Cherise Bate)
Juliette MarshallMuse #5
Marilyn TokudaMuse #6
Yvette Van VoorheesMuse #7
Teri BeckermanMuse #8
Marty DavisMale Guard
Bebe DrakeFemale Guard (as Bebe Drake-Massey)
Mickey McMeelThe Accountant
Aharon IpaléThe Photographer (as Aharon Ipale)
Lise LangPopcorn Girl / Xanadu Dancer
Melvin JonesBig Al
Matt LattanziYoung Danny McGuire / Xanadu Dancer
Ira Newborn40’s Band Leader
Jo Ann Harris40’s Singer #1
Cynthia Leake40’s Singer #2 (as Cindy Leake)
Patty Keene40’s Singer #3
Fee Waybill80’s Rock Singer / The Tubes (as John ‘Fee’ Waybill)
Stephen PearlmanForeman
Church OrtizWorker #1
Randy T. WilliamsWorker #2
David TressNick
Madison ArnoldVargas
Wilfrid Hyde-WhiteHeavenly Voice – Male (voice)
Coral BrowneHeavenly Voice – Female (voice)
Maria V. LangstonDizzy Heights
Clyde J. BarrettXanadu Dancer (as Clyde Barrett)
Cheryl BaxterXanadu Dancer
Hilary BeaneXanadu Dancer
Annie BehringerXanadu Dancer
Judith BernettXanadu Dancer
Teda BracciXanadu Dancer
Ellen CadwalladerXanadu Dancer
Stelio CalagiasXanadu Dancer
Lonny CarbajalXanadu Dancer (as Lonny Carabajal)
Hillary CarlipXanadu Dancer
Lynda ChaseXanadu Dancer
Russell ClarkXanadu Dancer
Contessa CohnXanadu Dancer
Derrick CrossXanadu Dancer
Gary DionXanadu Dancer
Marisol GarciaXanadu Dancer
Miranda GarrisonXanadu Dancer
Sandy GrayXanadu Dancer
Jei GuerreroXanadu Dancer
Cheryl HanglandXanadu Dancer
Yolanda HernandezXanadu Dancer
Susan InouyeXanadu Dancer
Veda JacksonXanadu Dancer
Michael JamesXanadu Dancer
Deborah JenssenXanadu Dancer
Leroy JonesXanadu Dancer
Fred KirbyXanadu Dancer
Brenda LeeXanadu Dancer
Dale LeecheXanadu Dancer
Victoria MansiXanadu Dancer
Michael MartinezXanadu Dancer
Yvette MatthewsXanadu Dancer
Tykin MikalsXanadu Dancer
Glenn NashXanadu Dancer
Christine NazarethXanadu Dancer
Tim O’BrienXanadu Dancer
Jeff OsserXanadu Dancer
Shelley PangXanadu Dancer
Sally PansingXanadu Dancer
Arlette PattersonXanadu Dancer
Alan PetersonXanadu Dancer
Lena PousetteXanadu Dancer
Vic PrimXanadu Dancer
Melody SantangelloXanadu Dancer (as Melody Santangelo)
Tony SelznickXanadu Dancer (as Tony Selesnick)
Kathy SingletonXanadu Dancer
Cindy SpoonerXanadu Dancer
Michael SpringerXanadu Dancer
Re StylesXanadu Dancer
Jim ThompsonXanadu Dancer
Francisco TorresXanadu Dancer
Bobby WalkerXanadu Dancer
Michael O. WatkinsXanadu Dancer (as Michael Watkins)
Adria WilsonXanadu Dancer
Darcel WynneXanadu Dancer
Noreen XavierXanadu Dancer
Mark ZiebellXanadu Dancer
The Mumm BrothersXanadu Dancers
Chain ReactionXanadu Dancers (as Chain Reaction Dancers)
Tom SachelleXanadu Dancer
Paul SachelleXanadu Dancer
Kyle HanfordXanadu Dancer
Michael DonleyXanadu Dancer
Robert WintersXanadu Dancer
Rick AndersonThe Tubes
Michael CottenThe Tubes
Prairie PrinceThe Tubes
Bill SpoonerThe Tubes
Roger SteenThe Tubes
Vince WelnickThe Tubes
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Joe Mantegna(scenes deleted)
Judith BurnettRaven (uncredited)
Alex ColeXanadu Dancer (uncredited)
Ty CrowleyDancer (uncredited)
Debbie FreshXanadu Dancer (uncredited)
Neal GoldXanadu Roller Skater (uncredited)
Sandra GrayCigarette Girl / Dancer (uncredited)
Leslie HuculFinale Roller Skater (uncredited)
Leroy JonesXanadu Dancer (uncredited)
David LeBellBaseball Player (uncredited)
Paul LeClairRecord Executive (uncredited)
Adolfo QuinonesXanadu Dancer (uncredited)
Patrick ReynoldsXanadu Dancer (uncredited)
Cliff RichardSonny Malone’s Singing Voice (uncredited)
Dean RubinFeatured Dancer (uncredited)
Dee Giffin ScottXanadu Dancer (uncredited)
Albie SelznickTightrope Walker (uncredited)
Lee WilkofJeffrey (uncredited)
Cynthia WindhamDancer (uncredited)

*Neyzor Blades reads the tag-line*

N: “A struggling artist living in Los Angeles meets a girl who may hold the key to his happiness.”

W: Pray for me.

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