*The Warlock opens the door to his lair. He’s wearing a Kane t-shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. He’s holding a Mega Pint of Barq’s Root Beer*
W: Welcome to my lair…welcome I don’t think so, but enter. Enter my lair if you dare. I’m your host The Warlock.
*Warlock raises his arms in the air and brings them down sharply to make an explosion before walking inside*
W: Tonight we’re going to have a little fun at Warlock’s Movie Realm. Back in 2006, wrestling czar Vince McMahon lost his mind and thought he could be a Hollywood film producer. He took one look at former WWE champion Kane and thought he’d make a good monster movie heel. On May 19, 2006 Kane made his big screen debut in SEE NO EVIL! I remember the date because they made a whole WWE storyline out of it.
*Mr. America is in the recliner wearing green camo fatigues, vest and hat along with black combat boots and aviator shades*
A: Let’s not go there, that angle was atrocious.
W: Absolutely, but we’re not here to talk about Kane vs Imposter Kane, we’re here…
*America cuts him off*
A: What did I just say??
W: Sorry, sorry. We’re here to catch SEE NO EVIL again. We saw this in theaters back in 06 and again on DVD sometime later and it was okay for what it was. For those that don’t know, a group of teenage juvenile delinquents are forced to serve community service by cleaning up a dilapidated hotel. What they don’t know is lurking the bowels of this hotel is the demented Jacob Goodnight, played by Kane, who’s going to make them pay dearly for trespassing on his real estate. Its been 16 years since this movie came out so let’s see if it held up well. So grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman because its time for SEE NO EVIL.
Written by Dan Madigan
Directed by Gregory Dark
Cast:
| Glenn Jacobs | … | Jacob Goodnight (as Kane) | |
| Christina Vidal | … | Christine | |
| Michael J. Pagan | … | Tye | |
| Samantha Noble | … | Kira | |
| Steven Vidler | … | Williams | |
| Cecily Polson | … | Margaret | |
| Luke Pegler | … | Michael | |
| Rachael Taylor | … | Zoe | |
| Penny McNamee | … | Melissa | |
| Craig Horner | … | Richie | |
| Mikhael Wilder | … | Russell | |
| Tiffany Lamb | … | Hannah | |
| Sam Cotton | … | Young Jacob | |
| Cory Robinson | … | Blaine | |
| Zoe Ventoura | … | Eyeless Woman | |
| Annalise Woods | … | Young Girl (as Annaliese Woods) | |
| Tim McDonald | … | Officer 1 | |
| Trent Huen | … | Officer 2 | |
| Matt Okine | … | Officer 3 (as Matthew Okine) | |
| Jason Chong | … | News Reporter | |
| Greg Skipper | … | Bus Driver | |
| Rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
| Nancy Bell | … | Jacob’s Mother (uncredited) |
*America reads the tag-line*
A: “A group of delinquents are sent to clean the Blackwell Hotel. Little do they know reclusive psychopath Jacob Goodnight has holed away in the rotting hotel. When one of the teens is captured, those who remain – a group that includes the cop who put a bullet in Goodnight’s head four years ago – band together to survive against the brutal killer.”
W: A bullet to the head isn’t gonna stop Kane.
*Warlock rises from the couch*
W: Well that was exactly how I remembered it. it wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad either. Kane definitely had the look to be a monster villain and he pulled it off really well. The cast did the best they could to be as douchebaggy as possible but that was somewhat the point. All in all it wasn’t a great movie but it was definitely worth a look if you’re a horror or wrestling fan. Well that about…
*The doorbell rings*
W: Who the hell could that be?
*Warlock gets up and opens the door only to see Kane in full gear standing in the doorway*
W: That’s….that’s…THAT’S GOTTA BE KANE!
*Kane grabs Warlock by the neck and chokeslams him on the front porch. America laughs at him*
A: Serves you right!
*Kane throws a DVD box on top of Warlock and leaves*
A: He left you a present.
*Warlock looks at the cover and its See No Evil 2*
W: Oh…great….now get outta here before I give ya a slap!
Warlock's Movie Realm 