*The Warlock opens the door to his lair. He’s wearing a JUST BRING IT t-shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. He’s holding a glass of water*
W: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLL….WHAT THE LOCK………is cookin.
*Warlock walks inside*
W: The Lock says, The Lock….The Lock….The Lock says welcome to Warlock’s Movie Realm as we are celebrating something special today. None other than the most electrifying man in sports entertainment, the one,…the only….THE ROCK….turns 50 years old today. To this day The Rock is really the only wrestler turned actor that turned in multi-million dollar movies. Roddy Piper’s They Live was a cult classic and Hulk Hogan’s No Holds Barred should be required viewing for any wrestling fan, but no one has had the consistent success of The Great One. Terry Funk was in Paradise Alley and Road House but he wasn’t the star. The Rock has been a star in many good flicks such as The Rundown, the Walking Tall remake, the god awful Doom movie and more. Tonight’s movie will be one of the most recent ones he did.
*Warlock takes his seat in the middle of the couch*
W: Tonight’s tribute to the Brahma Bull will be the 2021 Disney family adventure JUNGLE CRUISE. Yes believe it or not they made a movie out of one of the rides at Disney World….that I’ve actually been on. For those that don’t know, you’re taken on a boat through a river where mechanical animals pop up and your tour guide makes hilariously horrible puns the whole ride. Its meant to have fun but this movie looks like its going to be a lot more than The Rock cracking jokes for 10 minutes. No, JUNGLE CRUISE clocks in at just over 2 hours long. Apparently Emily Blunt is in big trouble and enlists the aid of a boat captain played by The Rock to guide her through the movie. Since its a Disney movie, I’m expecting a toned down family adventure so I’m not going to judge it like I would his action films. However, can this hold our attention for two hours? Let’s find out. Grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman because its time for JUNGLE CRUISE.
Written by John Requa, Glenn Ficara and Michael Green
Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
Cast:
*Warlock reads the tag-line*
W: “Based on Disneyland’s theme park ride where a small riverboat takes a group of travelers through a jungle filled with dangerous animals and reptiles but with a supernatural element.”
W: That tells me absolutely nothing.
Warlock's Movie Realm 