*The Warlock opens the door to his lair wearing a black tuxedo and gargoyle shades while holding a glass of Pepsi*
W: Welcome to my lair…welcome, I don’t think so, but enter. Enter my lair if you dare. I’m your host The Warlock.
*Warlock flicks his wrist and fire appears before walking inside*
W: Welcome back to Oscar’s Month here at Warlock’s Movie Realm. Tonight we will be taking a look at one of the only movies I really don’t want to watch, but for a different reason than you might think. Tonight’s movie, the winner of Best Picture of 2013, is the biodrama 12 YEARS A SLAVE.
*Warlock takes his seat in the middle of the couch*
W: Why don’t I want to watch this? I’ll get to that in a minute. First, the accolades. Chiwetel Ejofor was nominated for Best Actor, Lupita Nyong’o won Best Supporting Actress, the movie was nominated for Best Costume Design, Best Editing and Best Production Design, the movie won Best Adaptation and Steve McQueen was nominated for Best Director. Now for the competition, and this is where I’m getting pissed, 12 YEARS A SLAVE beat out American Hustle, Captain Phillips, Dallas Buyers Club, Gravity, Her, Nebraska, Philomena and The Wolf of Wall Street. I saw American Hustle in theaters and The Wolf of Wall Street is one of my favorite movies. But as usual, the movie with the “message” won Best Picture.
*Warlock takes a swig of his drink*
W: So what is 12 YEARS A SLAVE about? A free black man gets captured and sold into slavery, I’m assuming for 12 years since its based on a true story. Pretty much Django Unchained just reversed and without the Tarrantino touch to it. Now to be fair, its got a great cast including Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch, Paul Giamatti and Sarah Paulson and both leads were either nominated or won an Oscar. I’m still mad though, in my opinion I thought Wolf of Wall Street won Best Picture so this movie has a monumental hill to climb in order to convince me its better. Shout out to Scoot McNairy who plays Mr. Brown in this movie after being in Argo, back to back Best Pictures. Who knows, just like Chicago in 2002, this movie may surprise me. So grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman because its time for 12 YEARS A SLAVE.
Written by John Ridley and Solomon Nothrup
Directed by Steve McQueen
Cast:
*Warlock reads the tag-line*
W: “In the antebellum United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery.
W: Sounds like Django Unchained backwards, oh and THE Steve McQueen died in 1980 so this is a different Steve McQueen directing.
Warlock's Movie Realm 