*The Warlock is sitting on his couch watching the Oscar’s. He’s leaning forward with his fists under his chin. Neyzor Blades is in the recliner wearing standard attire*
N: I don’t know why you care so much this year, none of the movies you like are on the list. Not to mention you almost destroyed the place when Joker didn’t win two years ago.
W: Because I have to watch whatever wins eventually, it better not suck.
N: You don’t HAVE to do anything ya stiffinski.
W: Quiet, quiet….here we go.
<The TV announces Coda has won>
W: Coda?? Oh goddammit……
*Warlock’s head falls into his hands*
N: What’s so bad about that?
W: Its one of those woke movies about deaf people.
N: So?
W: Why can’t something FUN ever win?
N: You’re still not over Joker losing are you?
W: My older cousin still isn’t over Art Carney beating Al Pacino for Best Actor in 1974 and Joker losing is my personal “You gotta be kidding” moment. Anyway you gonna stick around for tonight’s movie? It’s last year’s Oscar winner.
N: No thanks, I’m going to bed.
*Neyz gets up and leaves*
W: Fine, I’ll suffer through this myself. Well folks, in case you haven’t guessed, tonight is the Oscar’s and since I didn’t feel like doing jack shit last year, I have to make up for it this year. Tonight we will be taking a look at NOMADLAND, a drama about a woman who goes broke after the 2009 recession and travels the country as a nomad. Critically, NOMADLAND won Best Picture so at least there’s going to be a coherent story with good acting. The question is will it be lively enough to hold my interest or will it bore me to death? The good news is unlike the 3-4 hour marathons I’m used to, this one clocks in at a decent one hour 47 minutes. If it is boring, at least it won’t be THAT long. But who knows, maybe I’ll get sucked into the story. The only way to find out is to watch so grab your popcorn, grab your drink and grab your woman because its time for NOMADLAND.
Written by Jessica Bruder and Chloe Zhao
Directed by Chloe Zhao
Cast:
*Warlock reads the tag-line*
W: “A woman in her sixties, after losing everything in the Great Recession, embarks on a journey through the American West, living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad.”
W: That’s a hell of a way to live, damn recession.
Warlock's Movie Realm 