*The Warlock opens the door to his lair. He’s wearing a black leather jacket, OOGA BOOGA t-shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. He’s holding a silver thermos of Dr. Pepper*
Warlock: Welcome to my lair….welcome I don’t think so, but enter. Enter my lair if you dare. I’m your host The Warlock.
*Warlock makes the ground rumble before he walks inside*
Warlock: Tonight we take a look at another IT CAME FROM YOUTUBE. As you can see I’ll be flying solo for this one.
*Camera pants to empty recliner and couch*
Warlock: Tonight’s flick is the 1995 action thriller Deadly Outbreak. Yes, released the same year as the Hollywood blockbuster Outbreak, DEADLY Outbreak is pretty much the same thing on a lower budget.
*Warlock takes his seat in the recliner*
Warlock: Wow, not used to this seat. Good thing I got my laptop hooked up to the TV again. So let’s get started with Deadly Outbreak.
*The Warlock reads the tag-line*
Warlock: “A terrorist group lead by Colonel Baron has taken over an Israeli biochemical weapon laboratory. Colonel Baron wants to get his hands on a new secret weapon developed by Dr. Allie Levin. Dutton Hatfield from the U.S. embassy must help Dr. Levin keep her invention away from the bad guys.”
Warlock: So…same shit as Cyberjack except its a secret weapon and not a computer virus. Got it.
Warlock: Once again they can’t spell New correctly.
*Panoramic view of Washington DC followed by a guy reading a map*
Warlock: Hes got the Third Division in the Red Sea!
*Guys plan to blow the building*
Warlock: TAKE COVER! Wait, there’s no one here.
*Colonel Baron (Ron Silver) and his men are ready…and we cut to the R.D.I. (Research Development Institute) Near Tel Aviv, Israel – 3 PM*
Warlock: Salute Your Shorts comes on at 4.
*Dr. Allie Levin (Rochelle Swanson) types away on her computer as Dr. David Berg (Yehuda Efroni) walks in asking about her side project*
Warlock: Heh, Dave Berg….The Lighter Side of bio-terrorism in B movies.
*Allie is producing an anti-toxin and Berg wants 4 samples for an American consulate on its way*
Warlock: If not, he’s gonna take her over his knee.
*Sgt Dutton Hatfield (Jeff Speakman) rolls around in the park with his son TJ (Erik Rosenberg). He’s teaching him self defense*
Warlock: Show him how to kick someone in the junk.
*TJ accidentally kicks Dutton in the junk*
Warlock: HAAAA! I called it.
*Plane flies as DEADLY TAKEOVER is shown*
Warlock: So is the movie called Deadly Outbreak or Deadly Takeover? Make up your mind movie!
*Pilot makes heading changes as we’re shown passengers looking bored*
Warlock: What’s the in flight movie?
*Colonel Baron is in the front row*
Warlock: I don’t see any Gameboys being played.
*Back at the park Dutton chills with TJ before we go back to the plane*
Warlock: What was the purpose of that?
*Goatee dude shoots and kills the pilot and the co-pilot*
Warlock: You couldn’t have waited until AFTER they had their coffee?
*Goatee starts capping all the passengers. We cut to a different plane with Colonel Baron on it. Goatee dude is named Luther (Michael Parlato) and he radios Baron. Luther jams the radar frequency so one plane takes the place of the other. Baron’s plane goes off the grid with his men*
Warlock: What was the purpose of that?
*Dutton and TJ share bonding moments. Dutton has to take TJ home to do homework*
Warlock: What’s homework?
*Baron tells everyone they have a big payday in store if they don’t fuck this up. Baron gets off the plane and assumes the role of a Doctor and Lt. Benny Epstein (Yehuda Elboim) introduces himself to Baron. Dutton is introduced as Epstein’s guard. Baron says they won’t be going to the local hotel here in Israel*
Warlock: A young Ziva David will assassinate him.
*Baron says he and his delegates will be meeting Dr. Berg immediately. Epstein is ordered to call Berg. Ramos (Jack Adalist) is Baron’s right hand man, he’ll be going with Hatfield and Baron to the lab. Epstein says the orders are correct*
Warlock: Hatfield should shoot them both and end this movie 10 minutes in.
*Baron and Hatfield talk back and forth. Hatfield was in SpecOps for 10 years and Baron says he was too. Hatfield says he was in Iraq and Baron says it was a stupid war. They could have eliminated Saddam in 85*
Warlock: Took them another 20 years to do it after this movie came out.
*Baron says the higher ups didn’t know when to make the important decisions. Hatfield asks if that’s why he’s retired. Baron says he gave advice to his superiors and they disagreed. Hatfield laughs with him*
Warlock: Got to be some truth to that.
*Allie continues to work on anti-toxins when Berg tells her to come with him to meet the consulate. Berg greets Baron and welcomes him to the lab. Berg introduces Dr. Eliot Stein (Larry Smith), Dr Abrahams (Ami Dayan) and an extra*
Warlock: Love how the guy’s not even in the credits.
*Baron says he’ll introduce his colleagues once he’s inside*
Warlock: There’s a dead giveaway that something’s wrong.
*All the phony doctors are introduced except for Stanislav (Gal Yorman) who’s outside the guard tower. Stanislav shoots the guards as Hatfield leaves. Baron says he’ll miss all the fun. Once Hatfieldis gone, Epstein leads Baron and his own associates to the lab*
Warlock: How did Hatfield not see Stanislav dragging bodies around outside?
*Allie completes her anti-toxin. Meanwhile Hatfield looks around for the exit. He asks Stanislav disguised as a guard which way the highway is. Stanislav shoots at him with an AK-47*
Warlock: Wow, what an idiot. If he just pointed in any direction, Hatfield would have left and there would be no movie. “Which way is the highway?” Just point *points somewhere* duhhhhh.
*Hatfield runs for cover and a shootout commences. The van blows as the henchmen begin wiping out the guards inside. Hatfield shoots and kills Stanislav*
Warlock: One down, about 9 to go.
*Hatfield goes to call for backup but the radio is fried. Meanwhile the henchmen successfully take out all the guards*
Warlock: These guards are useless.
*Hatfield runs inside and starts loading up*
Warlock: Well they’re going to have to Die Hard this from here on, can’t kill all the bad guys now, only 17 minutes into the movie.
*Security guy radios Colonel Gideon (Dan Turgeman) that terrorists have invaded the building. The black henchman is tagged in the arm by two guards. His associate pulls a grenade and takes them out. The security guy’s name is Ira (Idan Alterman). The henchmen blow away the staff but Ira makes it to an air vent*
Warlock: Great, now we got two stragglers.
*Black dude radios Gideon that they have control of the building now*
Warlock: Should have just said “Everything’s under control.” Now you got a situation on your hands. The Israeli police are on their way….and probably the Mossad.
*Israeli military rush to get ready including choppers, jeeps and trucks*
Warlock: We’re gonna need more FBI guys.
*Hatfield is ambushed by 2 of the henchmen with uzi’s. He hides behind flammable barrels and quickly realizes his mistake*
Warlock: At least he’s self aware.
*The barrels explode but Hatfield makes it to safety. Meanwhile black henchmen hacks into the computer systems. He shuts down communications throughout the building. “Voila” he says*
Warlock: This guy has charisma, a name would help.
*Berg, Baron and Ramos grab Elaine Starkov (Bridget Marks) and invite her to join them. Baron tells Ramos not to grab her because that’s no way to treat a lady. They press on*
Warlock: Is Berg gonna do anything? Jesus, can’t he hear the gunfire? Allie heard it a mile away.
*Ira runs into Hatfield and Dutton recruits him. Black dude radios Baron and says he sees Ira and Hatfield in the hallway. Baron calls him Hopper (Kevin Jones)*
Warlock: Finally we get a name.
*Ira gives a status report and Allie was hiding in a restroom. They need to find her. Hatfield hands him a gun and says good luck*
Warlock: Take him with you, you fool.
*Berg leads Starkov, Ramos and Baron into the lab. He says the alarm triggered the timelocks and they won’t open for another 10 hours without Allie’s code. He has to find her*
Warlock: Ohhhhhh, he’s in on it. Yeah, that explains it.
*One of the henchmen shooting at Hatfield earlier along with his long haired friend report to Baron that Hatfield got away. The long haired guy calls the other Gallo (Jonathan Sagall). Ramos volunteers to go after him. Baron cooly tells them no, he wants intel on Hatfield first*
Warlock: I half expected him to be like every other idiotic leader and kill the henchman. Good thing he’s not that stupid.
*The Israeli military make it to the lab and set up shop outside*
Warlock: We got Ramos, Gallo, Hopper, Baron, Berg, long hair and maybe a few others…against Ira and Hatfield.
*Baron leads everyone to the communications room where Hopper reports he saw Allie in a 3rd floor bathroom with a cylinder. Baron tells two henchmen bring him Hatfield’s head and two others to kill Allie and bring back the cylinder. Ramos tells long hair and Gallo if they fuck up, both their heads on his wall*
Warlock: Yeah, great. Threaten your own guys, great idea.
*Hopper, Baron and Berg look at the building blueprints. They star going over their battle plan. Baron radios Gideon that if they storm the place, he has all the chemicals in there wired to explode. Baron blows one of the outside bombs to demonstrate his power*
Warlock: Nice bomb rigging.
*Hopper wires more bombs around the building. Long Hair and Gallo find Ira and shoot at him. Meanwhile Allie tries to lockpick her way into the air vent. Mullet Dude and Gunther (Yoram Yosephberg) enter the bathroom*
Warlock: That air vent was like a foot wide, not even she could have made it through there.
*Gunther “I say we have a little fun before we waste her ass”
Warlock: I like the sound of that.
*Gunther and Mullet find Allie, Gunther hands Mullet the cylinder and pulls her out*
Warlock: Should have just shot her right there.
*Gunther goes to rape Allie while Mullet complains that they should just kill her and leave. Gunther starts taking his pants off and Allie boots him in the gonads*
Warlock: Yeah he had that coming.
*Gunther gets his pants off and goes to fuck Allie when Hatfield walks in. “That’s not practicing safe sex.” Hatfield beats the shit out of both of them*
Warlock: Nice fighting scene.
*Gunther goes to stab Hatfield, but he redirects the knife into Mullet. He then knocks out Gunther and asks Allie if she’s alright. She asks who they are and Hatfield says he’s going to find out. Hatfield says he’s the one who let them in and she scoffs at him. He scoffs at her back and cuts the Achilles of Gunther. Allie complains that he’s unconscious and Hatfield says he’s gonna have to crawl after them now*
Warlock: Great idea by Hatfield….should have just killed him like Mullet dude though. So now we got Long Hair, Gallo, Hopper, Ramos, Gunther, Berg and Baron against Ira and Hatfield…although Ira is useless.
*Allie grabs the cylinder as Hatfield keeps calling her lovey names much to her chagrin. Hatfield asks what’s in the cylinder, Allie says a compound that could wipe out the entire world*
Warlock: So, whiskey?
*Baron radios Gallo and Long Hair and ask their status. Gallo hasn’t found Hatfield yet. Baron radios Arthunian (Rhon Shuki) who was Mullet Dude and asks if they have the compound. Hatfield “Sorry Colonel, I got the babe and the magic sauce.” Baron figures out its Hatfield and asks how he’s doing. They playfully insult each other as Baron runs down Hatfield’s life and says just give him what he wants, no one else gets hurt or dies. Hatfield blows him off*
Warlock: This really is a Die Hard ripoff.
*General Miller (Jerry Hyman) at the Pentagon is briefed on the events in Israel. Meanwhile Hopper and Baron watch Hatfield and Allie walk around. Baron “Looks like the sergeant wants to play.” Hopper says everything is rigged to blow. Baron tells Hopper to kill Hatfield and Allie plus bring back the compound*
Warlock: Should have sent Ramos too, just to make sure.
*Gallo shoots at Allie and Hatfield as they enter her office. A shootout occurs between Hatfield and the two henchmen. Allie uses her passcode to get away since the henchmen don’t have it. Baron radios Miller and we find out that it was Miller who forced Baron into retirement after Baron’s disagreement about the Gulf War. Baron says he’s got the RDI and Washington rigged to blow, he wants safe passage to the Tel Aviv airport, 500 million dollars wired to his account and 10 million in cash on a jet. Miller says he’s nuts but Baron says if he doesn’t comply, Washington turns to dust the the Middle East will be contaminated*
Warlock: The Palestinians will love that.
*Baron tells Ramos that Hatfield is in Sub-Level 1. The military makes their way in as well. Ira runs into Hatfield and Hatfield says “You made it.” Hatfield says he has to get them out of there but they both complain. All of a sudden the military run into them and tell them to freeze. Hatfield identifies himself but notices a bomb rigged and says to take over. The bomb takes out the military team but not Hatfield’s crew*
Warlock: Ah lovely.
*Hatfield unkownigly leans on Ira’s chest. Hatfield’s crew makes it to Allie’s office. Hatfield messes up Humphrey Bogart lines as Baron radios Hopper and Gunther that they’re on the third floor. Hatfield notices the security camera and shoots it*
Warlock: Bonus points in Resident Evil Operation Raccoon City for that.
*Allie disables the camera as Hatfield leaves to cut off the terrorists. Ira has to watch Allie*
Warlock: These guys are dorks.
*Hopper notices Gunther limping. Gunther says “The bastard cut my leg and killed Arthunian”
Warlock: Nice looping.
*Hopper trips a grenade while carrying Gunther. He runs for it, Gunther screams “Sonovabitchhhhh” KABOOOOOOOMM! Hatfield flies into the office where Allie yells at him again*
Warlock: She has got to be the most ungrateful bitch in movie history.
*Hatfield yells at her back as Allie kills the security system. Ramos and Baron are now blind. Baron asks Berg what happened and Berg tells him Allie killed the system. Hatfield radios Baron “I guess its the blind leading the blind isn’t it Colonel.” Baron says he’s coming from him, meanwhile Hatfield has Allie send a message to the Embassy with their status. Meanwhile Gallo and Long Hair make their way up to the third floor*
Warlock: We’re down to Baron, Berg, Ramos, Gallo, Hopper and Long Hair against Ira and Hatfield. Much better odds than last time.
*Long Hair plugs Ira in the ear as Hatfield empties his last clip providing cover as they get away. Hatfield tosses the gun away*
Warlock: Noooo, you could have thrown it at them!
*Colonel Gideon calls up Miller and says the situation is serious. Miller says refrain from using force because Baron has Washington wired to blow. Gideon says they’ll do it his way.*
Warlock: You think he gives a fuck about Washington?
*Gallo and Long Hair play cat and mouse with Dutton’s crew. Dutton trips some steam valves to piss off Gallo. Dutton fights Gallo one on one*
Warlock: How did he miss with the shotgun blast?
*Dutton shouts to Ira to get Allie out of there.Dutton gets the upperhand with a nutshot and rolls away. Gallo pulls a sidearm and plays more cat and mouse before they brawl again. This time Dutton wipes the floor with him and super spinkicks him down the stairs*
Warlock: That takes care of him.
*Ira sacrifices himself to save Allie as Long Hair shoots him dead. He goes to finish off Allie but Hatfield springs into action. He goes to kill him but Allie stops him*
Warlock: Don’t listen to her, finish him off!
*Allie takes the gun from him and pistol whips him. “When he wakes up he’ll have to crawl after us.”
Warlock: What the hell? Ira died for nothing then.
*Hatfield shuts Ira’s eyes “You died a hero pal.”
Warlock: Yeah, but now you left his killer alive. One more henchmen to deal with.
*Allie yells at Hatfield to leave her alone*
Warlock: Just shoot her already.
*Allie then reveals her husband was killed in the Gulf War and she’s pissed because he didn’t have to die, same as Ira. She works ungodly hours so she doesn’t have to think of him. Dutton shows her a picture of TJ and says his mother is on the back of a Harley with his now ex-best friend*
Warlock: About time we have some character development…..but give me a goddamned break. Rather than go with the “my wife died” plot you go with the “my wife left me for my best friend” plot? That’s so ridiculous.
*Dutton says he’s jealous because he always wanted to own a Harley. He has to save the day because the toy-store opens at 9 AM*
Warlock: This dialogue is attrocious.
*Gallo calls long hair Vartan (RL Noff) and tells him to get up*
Warlock: Great, he left them both alive?
*Gallo hands Vartan a shotgun and says to follow him. Meanwhile Hatfield wants to know where the anti-toxin is to the virus she’s carrying in the cylinder. Hatfield spots a bomb and tells her to work on the formula back in the lab. He has to diffuse the bomb. Hatfield “I’m either going to be really righ…or really wrong.”
Warlock: If you’re wrong there would be no movie.
*Hopper shoots at Hatfield out of nowhere and Gall & Vartan argue over which way to go. They split up*
Warlock: Mr. America would hate that.
*Hatfield impales Hopper with a crowbar*
Warlock: Seriously? You left everyone else alive but you killed the one guy with any personality?
*Dutton fights Vartan one on one. Dutton stabs him with a knife and they go tumbling. Vartan misses with a shotgun and Dutton blows his gonads away. “Forgot to wear your bulletproof cup*
Warlock: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk
*Gallo goes back to Ramos, Berg and Baron*
Warlock: We still got a half hour left, this is no time to play “Take out your own man.”
*Gallo reports Vartan is dead and Hatfield is still alive. Ramos punches him down. Baron says if he fails again, he’ll end up like Vartan*
Warlock: Good, least Baron’s not that dumb.
*Baron tells Gallo to go get the girl. He leaves and Baron tells Ramos to get Hatfield on the horn and tell him they’re going to start executing hostages. Baron wants Berg to choose who goes first or else it will be him. Berg says Abrahams and Ramos leads him away*
Warlock: “Abrahams owed me money, the bastard.”
*Hatfield makes it back to Allie. They share horrible dialogue and Baron says Abrahams is dead. He’s got 10 minutes to deliver the virus or someone else dies. Baron tells Ramos to take Elaine next but Elliot intervenes, Ramos takes him instead. Next frame is Ramos shouting for Hatfield while holding Elliot hostage*
Warlock: COLONEL BRADDOCK!!!!
*Hatfield walks up to them with a gun in his hand, aimed at Ramos’ head. Ramos tells him to put it down. Hatfield puts the cylinder down and backs off. Ramos tells Elliot to get the cylinder and bring it back to him. Elliot goes and gets the cylinder*
Warlock: I would have ducked and let Hatfield shoot him.
*Ramos says to bring it back. Elliot brings it back and Rsamos shoots him in the head before escaping*
Warlock: What the hell kind of idiotic plan was that? You knew he wasn’t just going to hand over the hostage!
*Ramos literally drives a bulldozer into the compound and tries to run over Hatfield*
Warlock: That’s even more ridiculous. Just go back to Baron, you’ve won.
*Allie completes the anti-toxin as Ramos exits the bulldozer with the cylinder. She goes back into the lab where Gallo is waiting*
Warlock: This is why you kill the terrorists, so they don’t come back!
*Allie says if Gallo kills her, they’ll never get the cylinder. He says take him to it. She resists and throws acid in hs face. He uses the emergency eye wash to clean himself and he beats Allie up. Meanwhile Ramos brings the cylinder to Baron and info on TJ. Baron wonders if TJ looks like him*
Warlock: 22 minutes left and the heels have the advantage. How are they going to end this?
*Dutton hides as Berg and Baron walk by. We get a random shot of Israel at 6 AM*
Warlock: Nice scenery, kind of useless.
*Colonel Gideon can’t attack without orders from his superiors much to his chagrin. Meanwhile Berg opens the cylinder and says its an instant kill. Baron shoots the beaker the cylinder’s contents were poured into and pulls off Berg’s mask. Berg drops dead. Baron “Seems to work”
Warlock: I’ll give him a pass on “wipe out your own guy” because he was useless at this point.
*Gallo brings Allie to Baron and the anti-toxin*
Warlock: Okay, so as we stand with 20 minutes left, the heels have the virus, the anti-toxin and 3 guys left to just Hatfield.
*Allie asks where Berg is, Baron says he’s on sabbatical. Gideon radios in and says his terms have been agreed upon. Meanwhile Baron radios Dutton and tells him he has Allie. Dutton threatens him and Baron says he’ll kill her first. Allie says he;s underestimating him. Baron says he’s a marine, double his IQ and it still won’t reach triple digits*
Warlock: Don’t tell Agent Gibbs that.
*Baron tells Ramos to kill Allie and tells Gallo to go get Dutton*
Warlock: Hurry up Dutton.
*Baron radios Luther (Michael Parlato) and says they’re heading to the airport. Dutton hotwires a van and drives as Ramos and Baron lead the remaining hostages to the bus waiting for them. Gallo hotwires his own van and takes off after Dutton. Meanwhile the others pile onto the bus as Ramos drives off. Back to Gallo who shoots at Dutton with an uzi*
Warlock: How does he have this bad of A-Team accuracy?
*Gallo rams Dutton through a wall but they keep driving*
Warlock: The bus would be miles away by now.
*Gallo pulls up next to Dutton and they ram into each other until Dutton runs over a flammable gas tank and it blows Gallo to smithereeens*
Warlock: Congrats, too bad he capped the wrong guy.
*The police show up led by Gideon in a chopper and go to arrest Dustton. He tells them its Sgt Hatfield and they allow him into the chopper*
Warlock: They shoot him on sight, The End.
*The chopper makes its way toward the bus, Hatfield tells everyone not to attack because Baron has the cylinder. Baron is also driving the bus now. Baron tells Ramos to take out the last doctor. Elaine and Allie try to stop Ramos and he drops them both with backhands. Ramos elbows Elaine and shoots her in the chest. Ramos leans the doctor out the door and tells the chopper to back off, they refuse so he throws him out, killing him. Hatfield says he’s gonna kill the hostages anyway so bring him down there*
Warlock: Yeah really, Allie is the only one left. What are Ramos and Baron have left to bargain with?
*Dutton goes to hop out of the chopper onto the bus but Ramos shoots him in the leg. Then he takes out the police cars chasing them. Dutton falls onto the bus as Ramos fires blindly at him*
Warlock: Don’t waste your ammo you fool.
*Dutton drops in and fights Ramos one on one. Baron pulls a gun in the drivers seat and fires blindly as well*
Warlock: You’ll hit Ramos you idiot.
*Hatfield starts beating the shit out of Ramos and takes him hostage. He tells Baron to put the gun down or Ramos dies and Baron shoots Ramos dead anyway*
Warlock: Ok, NOW he’s in violation of “Take out your own man”
*Baron is out of rounds and Dutton punches him out. He grabs Allie and the cylinder before jumping out of the bus. It barrels into an airplane and explodes. All of a sudden TJ shouts “Dad!” We cut to Luther holding TJ hostage*
Warlock: What the fuck?? Where did he know where to look?
*Dutton walks up to Luther but Gideon has a sniper rifle and says he’s got the clean shot if Dutton can move TJ. Dutton starts talking shit to Luther and Luther fires….hitting him in the shoulder*
Warlock: You had the clean shot and you tag him in the arm?
*TJ uses the same kick he used on Dutton to kick Luther in the gonads. TJ runs for it and Gideon caps Luther in the chest. TJ runs up to Dutton who plays dead*
Warlock: He got hit in the arm, he’s fine.
*TJ and Allie pick up Dutton and he kisses her*
Warlock: Oh sre…now he kisses her?
*TJ enjoys the remote control car Dutton got for his birthday. Dutton tells Allie they need to talk about what to get for his borthday. They kiss as the movie ends*
Warlock: Ugh, thank god its over. The movie was sponsored by Pepsi and the only time you see it is that end scene. Maybe they had second thoughts about product placement in this movie.
The Warlock’s Assessment: 4.5 out of 10 – Below Average.
*Warlock rises from the recliner*
Warlock: That was a low budget Die Hard ripoff. Seriously, this was just Die Hard with B-List actors and a B-List budget. The villains were about as exciting as a glass of water and the protagonists had all the personality of bathroom tile. Some action scenes were good and it was an easy to follow plot, but it still wasn’t that good. It wasn’t horrible but it was definitely below average. Only watch it if you find it on youtube for free or if there’s nothing else on TV. That about wraps up another below average adventure, have a pleasant evening.