*The Warlock opens the door to his lair. He’s wearing a black leather jacket, a DOLLMAN t-shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. He’s holding a diamond studded goblet of Dr. Pepper*
Warlock: Welcome to my lair….welcome I don’t thinks so, but enter. Enter my lair if you dare. I’m your host The Warlock.
*Warlock flicks his wrist and flame appears in his hand in the form of a playing card as he tosses it into the sky. He walks inside*
Warlock: Tonight is going to be a little bit different. As you can see I’m flying solo on this one.
*Camera pans to the empty recliner and empty couch*
Warlock: With no backup, I’m going into uncharted waters by myself. Tonight its….IT CAME FROM YOUTUBE! What’s that you say? While looking for movie clips on Youtube one day, I discovered a whole host of full movies on there. Rather than spend eleventeen dollars on the DVD’s, may as well watch them for free.
*Warlock takes his seat at the kitchen table with the laptop already set up*
Warlock: Our first IT CAME FROM YOUTUBE will be Extreme Justice. The 1993 crime drama starring Lou Diamond Phillips. A task force is sent on a mission to infiltrate a crime ring and shut it down. So let’s get right to it with Extreme Justice.
*Warlock reads the tag-line*
Warlock: “They’re an elite task force. They target high profile criminals, learn how they work….and shut them down.”
Warlock: Hmmm, guess somebody was a big fan of The A-Team 10 years earlier.
*Opening graphic says this a fictional account representing the real S.I.S. division of the LAPD*
Warlock: CIA, SIS, NCIS….its all the same, get the bad guys.
*Panoramic view of the city of Los Angeles*
Warlock: Takes off the run time if nothing else.
*Black dude in sunglasses hangs out outside building*
Warlock: That’s a dead giveaway he’s either a crook or a vampire, who the hell wears sunglasses at night besides Corey Hart?
*Dan Vaughn (Scott Glenn) has the black dude staked out as he robs a mini-mart and he tells Lloyd (Richard Grove) Reese (Larry Holt) and Cusack (William Lucking) to move in. The robber threatens the clerk (Sam Hiona)*
Warlock: See? Never fails.
*Larson (Yaphet Kotto) pulls up as backup to Dan*
Warlock: He’s probably the best actor in the whole movie besides L.D.P.
*The clerk empties the register as Larson exits the car to join Dan.
*The robber shoots the clerk dead and exits the store. Dan shouts freeze and the robber shoots Reese but is blown away in a hail of bullets*
Warlock: Modern day social justice termites would call this a racial killing.
*Reese is down but alive, meanwhile the robber and clerk are dead*
Warlock: He got hit in the side, he’ll live.
*Dan, Larson, Cusack, Lloyd drink at the bar*
Warlock: Yeah, let’s celebrate a killing and a wounded officer.
*Larson asks who can replace Reese on the team while he recovers. Dan says he has someone in mind*
Warlock: Yeah he may as well be dead the way you guys are talking about him.
*Jeff Powers (Lou Diamond Phillips) and Art Blake (Bob Minor) are chasing a suspect. Jeff is driving way too fast, freaking out Blake*
Warlock: You were doing 130 in a 30 mile zone!
*Jeff drives like a maniac in persuit of the suspect. The suspect nearly wipes out someone on the sidewalk. Jeff continues to smash into him. “I’ll stop you you fuck!”
Warlock: Hahaha nice line.
*Suspect crashes through a store window. Jeff holds him at gunpoint and calls him Eddie Payton (Tim DeZam). He wants to know where “the kid” is. Jeff beats the shit out of him and has to be restrained by Blake*
Warlock: Jesus Christ calm down Lou.
*Lt Devlin (L Scott Caldwell) gives Jeff shit for excessive violence. She says he’s NOT suspended due to her superiors and he’s being transferred. He tells her to have a nice day*
Warlock: Internal Affairs….gotta love em.
*Jeff walks out of Devlin’s office and Dan is waiting for him. They were former partners once. Dan admits he got Jeff off. He wants Dan to come to a BBQ and a special assignment. Jeff says he’s made for this one*
Warlock: At least he’s not made for lovin you.
*Captain Shafer (Ed Lauter) and Angel (Andrew Divoff) are at the BBQ with Dan, Jeff and Larson*
Warlock: Wow, this is actually a pretty good cast, L Scott Caldwell included. This may be better than I thought.
*Shafer says he’s the best cook in town. They all raise their drinks and salute. Shafer brings Jeff inside and Jeff thanks him for getting him out. Shafer says he’s got a special assignment for him, Dan will fill him in. First, its time for drunken target practice*
Warlock: Oh great….
*Larson is a crack shot, so is Lloyd and Dan. Everyone but Dan says Jeff is a loose cannon and can’t be trusted. They need to work as a team*
Warlock: Can’t get over Andrew Divoff with a Spanish accent.
*Dan admits Jeff took the bullet from IA so Jeff could keep his job. The crew then lightens up. They all leave except Dan when Jeff arrives. Jeff says he wants him for a crack team where they shoot first and ask questions later*
Warlock: They could never get away with that now.
*Team endures training exercises as Jeff says they’re not klansmen or a rogue outfit. Jeff blasts a cop dummy and laughs*
*Billy Nash (Jay Arien Jones) is their prime suspect in a series of robberies*
Warlock: Kind of looks like Eddie Murphy.
*Jeff asks Dan how come he’s never heard of SIS. Dan says they technically don’t exist. Shafer walks in and tells him he needs to fly straight if he joins. Jeff says he’ll do what he has to. Shafer says two rules, one is to take out the criminals and the second is to keep quiet. Jeff is in*
Warlock: Wow, where do I sign up?
*Kelly Daniels (Cynthia Fields) types away on a computer as Jeff comes by and gropes her*
Warlock: Oh boy, a love interest.
*Kelly is a crime reporter and Jeff wants to be married, she doesn’t. Kelly says her editor Max (Stephen Root) wanted her to get pictures of Eddie Payton and Jeff wasn’t there. He apologizes and they go at it*
Warlock: Oh boy, a makeout scene.
*Dan comes home and talks to a picture frame of Sheila*
Warlock: Well this was unexpected. Is she dead? Did she leave him?
*Dan continues to talk to himself before removing all the bullets from his gun, firing at the picture frame saying “please come home”*
Warlock: Well I give props for creativity.
*Billy Nash goes over the battle plan with his robbers. Vince (Jophery C Brown) has the door, Mary (Amy Moore Davis) gets the cash. Meanwhile the Team has Nash tailed. Jeff says there’s 5 of them. Billy want’s Daisy (Tammy Brady Conrad)’s ass planted in the back seat*
Warlock: Or in my face.
*Jeff says Nash has a record in Texas. Dan says he’d get off down in Texas so they need to bag him now. Lloyd looks like shit*
Warlock: Don’t tell me he’s gonna puke in the car.
*Jeff asks how they know Nash is going to do it now, Lloyd says when they steal a car, that’s how you know its showtime. Johnny parks the car. Angel is right behind them and says they have 5 robbers. Jeff says this sounds like entrapment but he’ll go along with it*
Warlock: This is gonna end well……
*Lloyd doesn’t want to go through with it because he doesn’t want anyone to get killed. Dan yells at him to do his fucking job. Dan and Jeff enter the bank*
Warlock: Damn dude, he looks diseased. Maybe you should have let him call in sick.
*Jeff has his gun out*
Warlock: Christ, what if someone sees you?
*Cusack says Angel’s people are known for this kind of thing. Angel says its against the law to make racial comments “you inbred white trash motherfucker”*
Warlock: Hahahahaha good one Divoff.
*Nash walks in with Vince and Mary. Jeff spots him. Outside Daisy grabs a shotgun as Speer (Adam Gifford) tells her to put it down or Nash will get pissed*
Warlock: Now that’s a boomstick!
*Jeff says FREEZE and we get a shootout. Some dude and the bank guard get shot dead. Speer starts the car and Angel is ready to follow him. Larson plows into Speer as Mary shoots one of the bank clerks. FINALLY Dan draws his gun and shoots Mary dead*
Warlock: About fucking time, he should have started blasting the moment Nash opened fire.
*Larson, Cusack, Lloyd and Angel have Speer and Daisy surrounded as Dan blows away Nash*
Warlock: Al Sharpton is not gonna like this.
*Speer goes for his gun and Angel guns him down, the rest of the cops open fire on the car. Lloyd spots Daisy and tells the others to cease fire, but they don’t. Daisy picks up the shotgun and Lloyd reluctaqntly blows her away. Back inside Dan shoots Vince dead to end the shootout*
Warlock: Jesus H Christ what a massacre.
*Jeff calls an ambulance as the B team surveys the damage outside. Larson puts the gun in Speer’s hand as Angel says he doesn’t see nothing*
Warlock: Yikes, none of this is legal.
*Lloyd figures out the shotgun wasn’t loaded and freaks completely out. He then screams at Angel and Larson that she was just a little girl and they should have arrested them. Jeff watches this from the bank. Lloyd pulls his gun and Larson draws his*
Warlock: Oh shit, he’s lost it.
*Dan walks outside and Lloyd starts crying. Jeff helps take Lloyd down and they all drive off in separate cars, Shafer tells them all to scram as the beat cops show up. Kelly shows up for interviews as the clerk Mary tagged is loaded into an abulance, she’s alive and Kelly wants to speak with her*
Warlock: Jesus, she’s in shock, let her breathe.
*Kelly wants a word with Captain Bill Keller (Anthony Herrera). Bill tells Kelly we got 5 dead robbers, 1 guard and one civilian. Dan pulls Bill aside and Bill runs off. Kelly wants to speak with Dan next and he tells her to talk to the guy in charge. Kelly wants to know why there were officers inside the bank and he blows her off. He checks her out and drives away, telling her to have a nice day*
Warlock: This is shaping up to be a dark…dark movie.
*Back at the bar the crew plays cards except for Jeff who’s at the bar drinking*
Warlock: Lone Wolf Louie over here.
*Angel asks what’s wrong with Jeff and Dan says he’ll be fine. Dan checks on him and tells him to shrug it off. Jeff is mad that Dan didn’t even try to arrest him and Dan says he tried to play it by the book and nearly got himself killed. Jeff says he can’t cover for him again, Dan says what was he supposed to do? Jeff “I didn’t expect to kill them all.” Dan “Eh, that’s the job.”
Warlock: You rode with Billy The Kid, you should be used to it Chavez….oh wait, wrong movie.
*Jeff buys the next round and says to deal him in. Next scene is everyone falling out of the bar. Jeff and Dan walk off with Kelly tailing them*
Warlock: As Divoff would say in another movie, the shit just hit the fan.
*Kelly grills Jeff about Dan and Jeff doesn’t want to talk. Jeff says he’ll sleep on the couch*
Warlock: Heh, throwing himself out of bed before she does.
*Next morning Shafer calls for a team briefing. Shafer says the bank shooting was clean. Lloyd is ok but considering retirement. Larson says he wants to talk about his promotion*
Warlock: Wouldn’t be a Yaphet Kotto movie until he bitches about money. I’d love to hear Shafer say “Shut up Parker!”
*Shafer says he’ll get him his raise. New business is Jeff is an official partner with Dan. Alberto Torres (Ramon Franco) , Raymond Chavez (Thomas Rosales Jr) and Luis Herrera (Ed Frias) are out after 18 months in jail. Shafer says they made a mistake last time, Cusack says they let them live. Jeff shoots him a glare and Shafer scolds him saying they’re not a death squad. Shafer said they’re 3 serial rapists that specialize in ambushing women in their van. Shafer said the mistake was not catching them in the act*
Warlock: Ok, that could have gone worse…good on Shafer.
*After the meeting Shafer pulls Jeff aside and asks him about Kelly. Jeff says he’ll handle it. Dan says “Don’t worry, he won’t shit where he eats”
Warlock: I thought it was he wont eat where he shits.
*Shafer pulls Dan aside and say to take them down and make it stick. Next scene is Chavez, Luis and Alberto smoking weed and crack while looking for punta*
Warlock: Can we get anymore stereotypical?
*Dan and Jeff ride alongside the van. Dan says they need to go down hard. Jeff gives him shit for the laser sighting on his gun. Dan “Everyone’s hunting” Jeff “The barrio buffet”. The trio in the van spot a lady walking into an alley and Dan says to move in. Larson and Cusack follow the van*
Warlock: Its about to go down.
*Angel is pissed when he sees Luis harass the lady. Cusack “Why does it matter to you, you’re Cuban not Mexican.” Angel “I’ll explain it to you later Cusack.” Luis then kidnaps the lady and she screams, Jeff wants to move now but Dan tells them to wait*
Warlock: Yeah, they need to CATCH THEM IN THE ACT. Some cameras would be nice!
*The trio goes to rape the lady and Alberto tells the other two to leave so he can go first. Jeff gets increasingly agitated. Everyone holds their ground as Alberto starts banging the lady until Jeff can take no more*
Warlock: Yeah really, at this point what the fuck are they waiting for, an invitation?
*Dan tells him to get back in the car. Jeff “What are ya gonna do, write me up for stopping a rape?* Jeff runs at the van as Chavez and Luis open fire. Jeff dives behind a dumpster. After a brief A-Team tribute, Luis is finally gunned down. Jeff shouts to give it up but Chavez continues to fire until he’s gunned down. Alberto then jumps out of the van holding the woman as a hostage*
Warlock: Can’t blame the team this time, the bad guys opened fire first.
*Jeff says if he kills her, he’ll never make it out alive. Dan then uses his laser sighting as Jeff tells him to put the gun down. Alberto slowly goes to put the gun down and Dan caps him right between the eyes. Alberto pulls the trigger before he dies and the woman dies too*
Warlock: Ohhhhh shit.
*Jeff punches Dan with a right cross and says he got her killed. Cusack says they won’t be raping anymore women. Jeff continues to shout about how it isn’t right until the flatfoots and news reporters show up. Angel tries to calm Jeff down and Jeff is distraught*
Warlock: Wow, this is a slow burn heel turn.
*Kelly tries to get someone on the horn to explain what happened when Max shows up*
Warlock: Get used to those cubicles Milton Waddams.
*Kelly complains to Max about where to find evidence and Max tells her to go to the morgue*
Warlock: Way to go Milton.
*Shafer grills Dan about what happened. Dan says they resisted and he took them all down. Jeff doesn’t say anything. Shafer implies him not to break rank. Dan says Jeff has a good punch. Dan asks what Jeff is going to tell IA, Jeff has no idea. Jeff asks him what his problem is and why he forgot “protect and serve”. Dan gives a half assed sob story about his wife left him and he’s been down ever since. He says the three fuckers will never hurt anyone ever again. He says he trusts Jeff and walks off*
Warlock: Oh boy…a great big cover up.
*Kelly hits up the morgue and puts on a lab coat to disguise herself. She walks into an autopsy being performed by Dr Sato (David Tress) and he asks if she’s new*
Warlock: Ducky from NCIS makes it more entertaining.
*Kelly wants to know what happened, Sato spills the beans about Dan and the SIS. She asks what the SIS is and the doctor asks who she is. She runs away*
Warlock: Yeah, Dan’s team is fucked now.
*Kelly researches the SIS. She pegs Dan, Larson and even Jeff. She reports to Max that the SIS is dirty. She calls them a hit squad and they have murdered more suspects than anyone. Max says she needs proof otherwise he’ll be accusing the LAPD of assassination with no facts. She storms off*
Warlock: She’s gonna need Jeff.
*Kelly goes to confront Jeff but he leaves before she says anything. The next day in court in front of the council, Jeff gives his side of the story. Councilman Smith (Richard Allen) asks Jeff what really happened. Jeff sticks by Dan and agrees with the story*
Warlock: Come on Jeff.
*Dan explains what the SIS is supposed to do. Councilman Taylor (Paul Ben-Victor) wants to wrap this up but Smith clearly knows they’re dirty. Smith says Jeff is a dangerous man. Jeff agrees that he’s a danger…to every repeat offender. He puts over the SIS and says he gets the job done. Smith says Taylor is on the LAPD’s side. The rape victim’s name was Rosa Rodrigues (Sonia Darmei Lopes) and Smith grills Dan on watching Alberto rape her. Dan counters by saying if the SIS wasn’t there, he would have raped someone else tonight. Dan says they took down 3 serial rapists that won’t hurt anyone again. He asks Smith if he’s on the side of crime or justice*
Warlock:” That’s deep.
*Kelly grills Taylor and he blows her off. Smith has no comment for her either. She gets nowhere. Meanwhile the SIS team walks out celebrating. Jeff says he didn’t do it for Dan, he did it for himsef. Dan says they’ll take care of him too.
*Shafer, Dan, Cusack, Larson and Angel stare at Jeff who stares back at them*
Warlock: Showdown is coming.
*Jeff says to Kelly he’s leaving and doesn’t know for how long. He says that she’s nosing around too much and its making his job too hard. She says she understands and he says she doesn’t. Kelly confronts him about being involved in the bank shooting. He says to drop the story for him and she says she can’t. Kelly says he’s not a cop anymore, he’s a hitman. Jeff counters that she only cares because its a page 1 story. Jeff hits the bar and tells Richie (Richard D’Allesandro) to hit him*
Warlock: In the head….with a baseball bat.
*Jeff says its not Richie’s business..or his own for that matter. He then is late to the meeting next day. Larson laughs at him. Shafer then says 2 armed robbers are their next targets. Bobby Lewis (Daniel Quinn) and Mark Franklin (William McNamara) are the suspects. Shafer says they’re gonna hit a marina bar. Dan needs to stake out 3 possible locations. Jeff gets up and leaves*
Warlock: Dissention in the ranks.
*Max brings Kelly more background files. Mike Lloyd retired and Kelly wants to use him as an informed source. She calls him and he’s distraught. She guilt trips him into talking about the bank. He then has a PTSD flashback*
*Jeff doesn’t think the suspects are shooters. Dan says people get into shit, it happens. They clown with each otherand Kelly hits up Mike Lloyd’s house. She knocks then opens the door*
Warlock: Breaking and entering?
*Lloyd blows his brains out right in front of Kelly*
Warlock: Try explaining this to the cops.
*The crew tails the two suspects.Bobby says its a bad idea, Mark says the cops won’t bother them because they’re white. Bobby and Mark grab pistols and go to rob the yuppie bar. Cusack is in the bar as they walk in and pull their guns. They nonchalantly say to empty their pickets. Cusack says he’s got them. Bobby and Mark rob everyone and leave. Angel tells them to freeze and they put their hands in the air. Bobby and Mark comply but the driver of the jeep they were in runs over Angel. Bobby and Mark run off as Cusack tends to Angel. Dan and Jeff chase Mark as a fourth guy hops in the jeep*
Warlock: Is this the final battle? Wait…who am I asking?
*Larson and Cusack plug the fourth guy and the driver, the jeep flips*
Warlock: Christ Larson, could have hit someone with a stray bullet.
*Mark and Bobby split up and so does Dan and Jeff. Jeff chases Mark into a locker room. Jeff tells him to surrender and Mark tackles him*
Warlock: Sacked at the five yard line.
*Jeff gets the upperhand and cuffs Mark to a cage. He frisks him and the gun Mark was carrying was a pellet gun. Jeff “I could have killed you ya little shit!”
Warlock: Well ya didn’t,.
*Meanwhile Dan corners Bobby and he drops the gun then taunts him. Bobby admits he has a pellet gun and is only 17, Dan can’t do anything to him. Bobby says he’ll do a week cleaning freeways before he goes back to robbing registers. Dan says to show him the gun as Jeff walks by. Bobby picks up the gun and Dan shoots him dead*
Warlock: NOW he’s fucked.
*Dan tries to play it off but Jeff says he saw the WHOLE thing. Dan says he would have been out in 3 weeks if they let him go. Jeff says he never lets anyone go and storms off. Dan says “Your word against mine kid, don’t fuck with me!”
Warlock: 18 minutes left, let’s end this.
*Jeff asks Shafer what he can do about Dan shooting the kid in cold blood and Shafer says that could ruin the squad. Jeff argues that the truth is more important than the squad. Shafer sides with Dan and walks off. Back in the SIS headquarters Jeff is fuming mad and Larson calls them a lovers quarrel. Dan says people are starting to talk. Dan “You fuck me, you fuck the badge.” Jeff “How long have you been getting away with murder, boss?” Dan “You say something like that outside this room, I’ll bury you.”
Warlock: Good one.
*At Lloyd’s funeral, Dan gives the eulogy. Kelly and Jeff look at each other. Mike’s family cries as Kelly walks away. Jeff pulls Kelly aside and she asks him how many more people have to die before the truth comes out. Jeff says he’ll handle it his way. Kelly says they’re violating constitutional law and they won’t protect him. She drives off*
Warlock: 15 minutes left. are we gonna get a one on one fight or a shootout?
*Jeff visits Lt Develin and asks for help. “I wouldn’t piss in your mouth if your teeth was on fire.”
*Jeff says he’ll give her Dan Vaughn. She says she knew he’d end up in SIS. She hands him official forms and says to fill them out. He says they’re talking about a murder here. Develin says IA specializes in corruption, not shootings. Jeff gets pissed and says she’s ready to bury him for no reason but when he brings her Vaughn she is chickenshit. He calls her pathetic and says “FUCK YOU!”
Warlock: I like his style.
*Jeff comes back to Kelly with his bag. He goes on record with Kelly pointing the finger at Dan. He says they were supposed to be an elite team of protectors that turned into hitmen. Next frame is Shafer calliung up Dan and saying Jeff fucked them six ways from Sunday. Dan gets the newspaper and the front page is Kelly’s report. Jeff drives up to Dan’s house and Kelly says he doesn’t have to do this*
Warlock: Yeah, one of them ain’t comin out alive lady.
*Dan watches Shafer on the news deny any violent behavior by the SIS. Jeff walks in the house and Dan says he’s finished. Jeff says he quits. Dan calls him a cocksucker and Jeff says HE’S the LAPD, not Dan. Dan’t nothing but a field officer for a death squad. Dan goes for the juggular*
Warlock: Finally, here we go.
*Dan gets the early advantage and Jeff kicks him through a glass door. Dan gets the advantage again and goes to strangle Dan when Kelly runs in. She tries to pry Dan off but he backhands her down before tackling Jeff out the window into the street. They brawl into the ranch area and Jeff finally drops him with a two by four and a few right hands. Jeff goes to choke him and Dan pulls put a gun he had in his shoe but Kelly alerts Jeff to it. Jeff grabs it and aims it at Dan. Dan tells him to do it. Jeff says he’d be just like him then and empties the gun of the bullets before throwing it on him. Jeff “I quit.” Dan “It doesn’t mean dick. Nobody gives a fuck about what the paper says.”
Warlock: Took 20 years for that to happen.
*Closeup shot of Dan saying “THEY FUCKIN LOVE US!” before fading to black. Graphic reads Dan was killed during a shootout and Jeff transfered to an IA unit in Detroit. The SIS still operates in LA and we get the end credits*
Warlock: That was pretty damn good for a B movie.
The Warlock’s Assessment: 6 out of 10 – Good
*The Warlock rises from the kitchen chair*
Warlock: That was better than I expected. It depicted police brutality right around the time the Rodney King incident was going down in LA. It had a superb cast that was a little underdeveloped but still fun to watch. A lot of stereotypes that could never happen now but that gave movies back then their charm. The story itself was kind of weak at the end because there’s no way Jeff would ever hold a badge again if he ratted out his own men and if Jeff was successful, there’s no way Dan would have been able to return to the line of duty. Still, it was good, not great and that’s all I could ask for. Well, I’m kind of scared now. That was just the first movie in IT CAME FROM YOUTUBE. This could have been the best it got, I hope I’m wrong. We’ll see what we got in store next time, as for now, have a pleasant evening.