*The Warlock is in the lair with Mr. America. The Warlock is wearing a blue wife beater, jeans, white sneakers and gargoyle shades. Mr. America is wearing green camo fatigues, vest and hat along with black combat boots and aviator shades. Warlock is playing bass guitar and America is playing lead guitar with a pre-recorded Mr. Wallstreet drumbeat*
Warlock: *sings* OUT ON THE STREETS FOR A LIVINNNNNNN
America: *sing* PICTURE’S ONLY BEGUNNNNNN
Warlock: *sings* YOUR DAYS ARE SORROW AND MADNESS
America: *sings* GOTCHA UNDER THEIR THUMB
Warlock and America: *sings* WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
Warlock: *sings* BLACK DIAMONDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
*They play until the song ends*
America: That was good.
Warlock: Yeah, its a shame Wallstreet isn’t here live.
America: So why did you want to play that song?
Warlock: Has to do with tonight’s movie.
*America sets aside his guitar and sits in the recliner*
America: We’re watching Detroit Rock City?
America: We’re watching a queen of the prostitutes?
America: Then what are we watching?
*Warlock sits in the middle of the couch after setting aside his bass*
Warlock: Frame of Mind.
America: What’s that got to do with this?
Warlock: You’ll see shortly.
America: If you say so.
Warlock: So let’s get started with Frame of Mind.
*The Warlock reads the tag-line*
Warlock: “A New Jersey police detective comes across new evidence in the Kennedy assassination.”
America: New evidence? I’m not intrigued.
*Echo Bridge entertainment*
Warlock: OH NO!
America: That damn bridge again! I don’t believe it!
*Psych Ward entertainment*
Warlock: If we’re watching movies like this, we belong there.
America: If? More like should. We’re overdue.
*Written directed and starring Carl T Evans*
Warlock: So this guy wrote, directed and starred in it.
*Movie opens in a suburban neighborhead*
Warlock: Somebody needs to hit that tree.
*Guy sweeps his walkway*
Warlock: HE SHOOTS HE SCORESSSSSS…oh wait that’s a rake.
America: He’s not shooting, he’s sweeping. That’s not even a rake!
*Woman unboxes things as her husband finds a toy*
Warlock: At least its not a dildo.
*David (Carl T Evans) ponders if he’s made the right decision to move home. Jennifer (Arija Bareikis) says they have every reason to move there*
America: We have an hour and 26 minutes of reasons NOT to move here.
*Jennifer looks for stuff to buy in an antique store. He asks when the endtable is ready*
Warlock: Why doesn’t he take the wooden chair on the counter and whack the clerk with it, then take the endtable?
America:….because that would be stealing!
*Jennifer opens the chest David bought her and finds old 8mm film*
America: REALLY? THIS is gonna be our JFK thing? That was too damn easy. No dramtic set up, just “Oh, here ya go.” Every movie that out there and every movie that comes out from here to armageddon, when you come across new evidence its not just thrown in your lap like that.
*David introduces himself to Lt Mangione (Vincent Curatola). They are old friends. Margione says David’s father said he’d be there someday and now there he is. Margione is sorry for what happened to his dad*
Warlock: Oh this is a New York movie.
*Wendy (Kristen Ruhlin) serves food to David and his new partner get a call. Ms Blaine had her Mercedes stolen. They’re in New Jersey. Meanwhile David later picks up the film and looks at the till images on a computer. Its some guy in a trench coat as Jennifer asks if he’ll unpack*
America: First movie ever where this piece of evidence just falls into their lap.
*David says the dude in the trench coat is carring a rifle under his jacket. Jennifer says to leave it alone*
Warlock: HOW TO RUIN A MOVIE!
America: “Yeah I’ll leave it alone”
Warlock and America: THE END.
*David and Jennifer bond before we shift to The Daily Deli. Jimmy (Nick Sandow) gives the clerk shit for items being stolen. Meanwhile David talks to various guys*
America: Slow day at the police station if this is the shit they’re dealing with. What’s he complaining about, they made him tomato sauce!
*Back at the antique store David picks up the end table and asks about the jewelry box. The clerk (April Ortiz) tells him where the original owners of the box are so he can investigate. He continues to look at the pictures on his computer*
Warlock: Can we get on with it please?
*David kisses Jennifer goodbye and he says “What was I thinking?”
Warlock: He was thinking with his head, not his dick.
*David visits the original owner, Thelma (Barbara Barrie) in the nursing home. Cindy (Deva Dalporto) is the nurse. David asks about the box and Thelma freaks out asking if he’s one of “them”. He pulls out his badge and says no. He looks at the photograph and she says it was her late husband. He asks who “They” are and she explains they were in Dallas to watch the Kennedy parade. She had the film developed and Stanley was in shock. Stanley said the police should have the film, she claimed he died because of it. He “had a heart attack” at 41. She’s sure of it. David asks what’s on it and she says the REAL Kennedy killer*
Warlock: Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn
*Back home David tells the story to Jennifer*
Warlock They have an hour and 6 minutes to figure this out.
*David researches the grassy knoll*
Warlock: He doesn’t know the Kennedy assassination?
America: Really? He has to look it up??
Warlock: This guy sucks.
*David realizes Thelma was right, the man in the trench coat really was there. David calls Jimmy and Mike (Peter Criss) is there*
Warlock: There he is! Recognize him?
*David asks Jimmy to cover for him as Mangione walks in. Mangione asks where David is and Mangione is suspicious. Jimmy says David will be back. Mike says if the kid is like his dad, he’ll be alright*
Warlock: Want a hint?
Warlock: *sings* Oh Beth what can I doooooooo.
America: Oh my god, that’s Peter Criss.
Warlock: Yep, that’s Peter Criss. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing in this movie but he’s here.
America: I nominate him as best supporting actor.
Warlock: I agree, Peter Criss is best supporting actor.
*David visits a college professor as Jennifer drives around. She wanders around the elementary school until talking with her new boss. Meanwhile David asks the college guy if this is legit and the college guy says it sure is. Back at the station David runs into Jimmy who says Pampered Pets is missing a canary*
Warlock: GREAT BIG GIANT GREEN CANARIES!
America: This really is a small town. First we had a case of squished tomatoes and now we got a missing canary.
*Jimmy says they found the bird, a cat got it. Its a homicide, no witnesses will talk. David “Not even the parrot?”*
*David goes to Agent Jenkins (Don Harvey) and the computer finds the trench coat dude is Vincent Garbone. He was murdered getting off a plane in Midway Airport on November 23, 1963*
*Meanwhile Jimmy drives with David. Jimmy says he can’t cover for him much longer. Back home Jennifer is scared she didn’t get the job*
Warlock: Why doesn’t she just run in with a gun and start shooting the schoolboard people until they give her what she wants.
America: Are you crazy?
*David tells Jennifer the grassy knoll guy was whacked coming back from Dallas. Mickey (Robert A Colaneri) is an old friend of David’s father. He shows Mickey the picture of Vincent and Mickey says its a Winchester model 70 sniper rifle*
Warlock: That didn’t kill Kennedy
*CIA is after Agent Jenkins for running the search on Vincent*
Warlock: Uh oh.
*Mangione is suspicious of David as he prints out winchester rifle information. Jenkins calls and says he needs to talk. David meets him and Jenkins says he’ll take it from here. David says its bullshit and Jenkins says to let it go. David leaves*
Warlock: There would be no movie.
*The college guy is Professor Steve Lynde (Chris Noth). They discuss Lee Harvey Oswald before he was whacked. Lynde says Oswald was the real killer but Vincent was there to kill Oswald so he wouldn’t talk. This was all a CIA hit. Meanwhile someone shoots pictures of Lynde and David together*
Warlock: Something is afoot.
*Jennifer gets the job at the school. Meanwhile somebody has bugged David’s house and is listening in*
Warlock: Can we progress the story now?
*David stays up all night working the Kennedy thing. Meanwhile Jennifer doesn’t get the job because of a phantom DWI. David starts to smell a rat as Lynde gets a warning himself*
America: He’s in trouble.
*Mary (Sharon Angela) is grilled on where David is, she hasn’t seen him. David visits Mickey and asks about the DWI. He says its legit and Mickey says whoever did this, didn’t do it as a prank. Back at the station Margione gives David the business about doing his job. Meanwhile Mouthman (Tony Lo Bianco) and Johnny Loma (Frank Gio) talk about what to do about the David situation. Back at the station Jimmy, Mike and David banter with each other*
America: There he is again!
*David hits up a biker bar to visit Mickey. He says its the gun that killed Kennedy*
Warlock: Yeah, THAT killed Kennedy.
*Mrs Clyde (Lynn Battaglia) asks the Mayor to clean up the town. Senator Franklin (David Dinkins) gladhands everyone. David’s ex girlfriend Linda (Noelle Beck) shows up and David cuts her off by introducing Jennifer*
Warlock: Nicely handled.
America: She’s happy.
*Lynde is confronted by some guy (Patrick Noonan) who subtlety threatens him. Meanwhile Jennifer continues to give David shit for Linda*
Warlock: Typical women.
*Mouthman continues to drink and act sinnister*
Warlock: What’s with this guy?
*Lynde and David discuss the shooting. Lynde shows David the warning he got. Meanwhile Johnny is discussing Mouthman’s relationship with Kennedy. He says Mouthman is a lowlife rat bastard for letting it happen*
Warlock: God damn mob.
*David calls Steve and finds a picture with Thelma and Stanley. Meanwhile David is at a bar with Jennifer. David confronts the dude staring at him and intimidates him, Jennifer asks if he’s okay. He says apparently not*
Warlock: Paranoid much?
*Mangione calls a staff meeting David has to leave because FBI agents are at the house. They’ve taken the film. David confronts Jenkins and he denies sending them to his house. David doesn’t believe him. Jenkins pulls out a dvd and shows him Johnny talking about Kennedy. Jenkins says David really needs not to be apart of this. David goes to a firing range and he’s a crackshot*
America: Nice grouping.
*Mouthman gets a call saying to clean it up. He says leave David alive but kill everyone else. Jennifer then gets followed by a big SUV. David walks out of the pizza shop and she calls him saying she’s in trouble*
Warlock: Did he waste a perfectly good pizza?
America: Yes he did, and it landed perfectly on the table.
*David drives up to Jennifer and saves the day*
America: So you’re not gonna chase after him?
Warlock: Nope, let him get away.
*Jimmy asks David what’s going on, Mangione is looking for him. Jimmy tells Mangione that David isn’t coming back. Mangione looks at him and Jimmy looks away. Meanwhile David tells Jennifer to hide for safety*
Warlock: Head for the hills!
*Mickey has his biker buddies escort Jennifer away. David and Jenkins continue to talk. David tells Jenkins to get the CIA off his back*
Warlock: He just said “I GIVE UP!’
*David overhears on the radio Mickey has been in an accident. He cries*
Warlock: So they’re not going to show it?
*David says Mickey was killed because of the Kennedy thing. Lynde says over 30 people died after the assassination. David says he was going to walk away but not now, he wants to find the truth. Lynde scoffs at him*
Warlock: Why do I have a feeling he’s not going to be successful?
*Jennifer calls David and says she’s okay. He says he’ll work it out*
America: That’s to be determined.
*David asks Lynda for an interview with Thelma about the Kennedy thing but Lynda says she can’t do it. After some convincing, Lynda says she’ll do it. By himself, David has a voice montage of all the evidence in the movie so far. David then gets knocked out by an unknown assailant*
*David is beaten and tortured by an interrogator (Mark Menchaca). They beat the shit out of him*
*David wakes up in a corn field*
Warlock: We got 16 minutes to solve this thing.
America: He who walks behind the rows.
*Jennifer calls David who tells her he’ll call later. Meanwhile an enraged Mangione says he wants David now. Johnny asks Mouthman to take care of David. Johnny says he’ll take care of him, Mouthman says not to do anything. Johnny says to give this to “Capetti”*
Warlock: Oh we got a hit coming.
*David asks Lynda to meet where their first date was. Lynda says Thelma is dead, she died that morning. David tells her they killed her when a drive by shooter shoots at them. Lynda is now convinced. She tells Gary to go on the air. She goes on the air and says she’ll be speaking with David about the Kennedy assassination. Meanwhile Jennifer runs up the stairs looking for David but the shooter follows her. Jennifer says somebody is in the house and David takes off in hot pursuit.*
America: Camera truck is moving too slow.
*David runs inside and gunshots ring out, someone screams “Nooooooo”
*Mangione and Steve look over David’s corpse in the hospital. They ask what he got himself into*
Warlock: Well this movie took a turn.
*David is ALIVE, the shooter is dead. “Capetti” is dead and Mangione says he’s on desk duty*
Warlock: Nice swerve. I give it an A for effort.
*Jennifer pleads with David to drop this all. David agrees. Meanwhile Senator Franklin says he’s called the NSA on the CIA and they’re interested. David is flown by helicopter*
America: Its a hero copter, single star.
*David enters the chopper and it goes airborne*
America: I’m waiting for that.
*David is led to Mouthman’s office. He’s really Bill Mason, head of NSA. He speaks with a phony southern accent. David spots the cigar case and remembers Johnny saying Kennedy was friends with his killer and shared cigars. He’s suspicious now. Mason brags about his 5 grandkids and asks what David has so far. We cut here*
Warlock: This is gonna end well.
*Next frame is Jennifer holding their newborn baby several months later. David walks inside with them. He looks over his shoulder and we get the end credits*
Warlock: That’s the ending?
Mr. America’s Assessment: Oh my god. What kind of ending was that?? I give it a 2, one point for the helicopter.
The Warlock’s Assessment: 2 out of 10, Peter Criss saved it.
Final Grade: 2 out of 10 – Absolutely horrible.
*Warlock gets up and chucks a drink coaster at the tv*
Warlock: The hell was that? Seriously, what was that? The guy who wrote, directed and starred in it is a better conspiracy theorist than a writer because that was a convoluted mess of nothing. That was seriously bad. I need something to clear my head.
America: I got just the trick.
America: *sings* JUST A FEW MORE HOURSSSSSS AND I’LL BE RIGHT HOME TO YOUUUU
Warlock: Oh god…please.
America: I THINK I HEAR THEM CALLLINGGGGGGG….OH BETH WHAT CAN I DOOOOOOO
Warlock: Have a pleasant evening.