*The Warlock drives up to his lair in his 1958 Plymouth Fury. When we last left off, Warlock had just flashed back to his childhood when he watched King Kong with his father The Grand Wizard. This time he’s on his way back to his lair with a dvd in his hands. He walks up and opens the door to his lair to go inside. He’s wearing a black wifebeater, gargoyle shades, blue jeans and white sneakers. Neyzor Blades is in the recliner wearing standard attire*
Neyz: Where have you been?
Warlock: Went to my dad’s to pick up a movie for us to watch.
Neyz: Which is?
Warlock: Son of Kong.
Neyz: King Kong?
Warlock: No, the sequel.
Neyz: There was a sequel?
Warlock: Oh yeah.
*Warlock takes his seat in the middle of the couch*
Warlock: So let’s get started shall we. The Son of Kong.
*The Warlock reads the tag-line*
Warlock: “The men who captured the giant ape King Kong, return to his island and find his equally gigantic, but far more friendly, son.”
Warlock: And that’s bullshit because Junior is not that big.
*Executive producer is Merian C Cooper*
Warlock: Heh, that’s the fighter pilot from the first movie that killed Kong. Killed his own creation.
Neyz: Well he is the executive producer.
*Movie has opening credits with scenes from the upcoming movie*
Warlock: Its like a trailer within the movie.
*There’s a poster for Kong in the hallway of an apartment complex. Some reporter (Frank O’Connor) runs up to Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) and Denham shouts for Mrs. Hudson (Katrhrin Clare Ward) who shoos him away. Carl explains his plight. A second reporter shows up (Gertrude Short) and says she’s from the news. Mrs Hudson says “Is that so, I got news for you.You’re gonna get out of here so fast!”
*She wants a story. Denham says its been a month and she says everyone is suing him for something. Denham says he’s sorry for bringing him here and hurting everyone. He wished he left him on the island. “I’m sure paying for what I did to you.” Denham says he’s flat broke says the only place he hasn’t heard from is the Bide-A-Wee Home*
Warlock: Don’t know.
*Charlie (Victor Wong) says Captain Englehorn (Frank Reicher) sent for him and Denham says he’s on his way. He tries to leave through the basement where Mickey (Lee Kohlmar) harasses the cleaning lady (Gertrude Sutton). Mickey serves Carl a summon and Carl is less than pleased. Carl says this is 15th summon yet. He enlists Mickey to help disguise him and get out of there in a luggage cart. Someone else asks how he got in and Mickey says through the chimney like Santa Claus*
*Denham makes it to Englehorn’s ship. Charlie “Next time you leave big monkey alone” Carl “Next time? Ha! Charlie must think Kong’s are plentiful”
*Mickey rushes on board to tip Denham off that he’s going to be indicted. He suggests to leave now. Englehorn says they can go to jail for 10 years. He says he’s going to put together a skeleton crew and go freight carrying. Denham says sures*
Warlock: Goes from movie director to cargo loader.
Neyz: Cause he’s in trouble.
Warlock: What a fall from grace.
*They stop in Dakang and Denham says this is a hustling community. He asks how far is Kong’s Island, he says 1,753 miles. Skipper says he was curious. He asks Red (Ed Brady) to unload cargo and Red scoffs at him. Skipper says if they had better crew he’d get rid of him. Denham spots an entertainment show poster with musical animals. Skipper says the show must be terrible and Denham says don’t be a crab*
Warlock: Yeah Neyz, don’t be a crab.
*The show is monkeys playing tiny instruments while Carl, Charlie and Skipper watch intently*
Neyz: They’re so cute.
*A monkey plays the violin*
Neyz: Is that Son of Kong right there?
*Peterson (Clarence Wilson) leads the monkeys away and introduces his daughter Hilda (Helen Mack) who plays a ukulele and sings La Belle Helene badly. Denham likes her, Skipper doesn’t like the voice*
Warlock: Its Tiny Tim’s mother.
Warlock: No…would be funny though.
*Charlie and Denham are the only ones who clap for her*
*Peterson says goodnight and another big show tomorrow night. Everyone leaves and Hilda plays a goodbye tune*
Warlock: Plays better than me.
*Hilda chills with the animals and asks if a man is coming to see him. He calls him his friend and someone to talk to, Hilda says someone to drink with. Next frame shows Peterson bombed with Captain Helstrom (John Marston). Peterson says he was ringmaster of the biggest circus. Helstrom says he was rotten, Peterson calls him a rotten captain. He purposely sunk his own ship for insurance, but it failed. Helstrom whacks Peterson in the head with the bottle and he crashes into the candle torch, knocking it over and setting the tent on fire. Helstrom runs off as Hilda wakes up, saves all the animals but can’t save Peterson, he’s a gonner*
Neyz: That’s sad.
*Tony the monkey refuses to come down despite Hilda calling. Denham walks up and she asks him if he ever caught a monkey. Denham “Have I ever caught a….oh you’d be surprised”
Warlock: Yeah, no kidding.
*They share bonding moments and character development. Denham gives her a pep talk and says to keep her chin up*
Warlock: He said that to Ann.
*Hilda confronts Helstrom and says he killed her father. Hilda says she’s going to the magistrate in a few days. Helstrom is pissed*
Warlock: Serves him right.
*Skipper and Denham go over what to do next when Helstrom walks in and spots them. Carl says he’s the one who gave him the map to Kong’s Island. Helstrom wants the profits of Kong and Denham says he’s broke. Helstrom wants passage out of there but they can’t help. Helstrom then says there’s treasure on the island. He says he wants to go after it himself but Denham falls for it. Skipper isn’t amused and Denham says they’re going back for the treasure*
Warlock: He….can’t be serious.
*Denham says bye to Hilda. Hilda wants to go with him and Denham says no. He gives her some money and says hitch a ride on the next ship. He says goodbye*
Warlock: That can’t be that easy.
*The ship sets sail toward Kong’s island and Helstrom starts gathering up the crew and warns them about where they’re going. Helstrom tells Red that 12 guys died the last time and Helstrom said if he was captain, he wouldn’t send his crew into danger. Meanwhile Charlie shows up and says he found something. He rounds up the crew (Cy Clegg, Henry Cornbleth, F. Garrety, J. Goff, Tex Higginson, Ken Kuntz, Frank Mills, Jack Richardson, Constantine Romanoff, Gene Rossi, Harry Tenbrook, Homer Watson) and brings out Hilda. Denham “Holy Mackerel”
*Hilda tries to explain herself and Skipper dismisses the crew. Denham “You ought to be beaten to a pulp.”
Warlock: Try getting away with that now.
*Helstrom spots Hilda and he freaks out. Hilda says she knows him. Denham “Well, here we are, one big happy family”
*Helstrom confronts Hilda and tells her to keep quiet. Denham tells him to buzz off and he gets in some g rated flirting with her*
Neyz: Love how the sea is rocking but the boat isn’t moving.
*The ship is stopped just 2 miles from Kong’s Island. Denham walks out and a sailor sticks a gun in his side. Its a mutiny. Red and Helstrom have led a revolt. The crew doesn’t want to be killed. Red sends Skipper, Denham and Hilda off, Hilda says Helstrom killed her father. Denham says he’ll turn around if they call it off, Helstrom tells them to hold their ground. Denham to Helstrom “I’ll be seeing you again, I hope.” Charlie is already in the life boat. Denham asks if they threw him out too. Charlie “Me no throw off, get off. Me no like them men”
Neyz: He’s already ready to shove off.
*Helstrom taunts them and Charlie has a rifle stashed. Charlie “You cook now, you die pretty soon!”
Warlock and Neyz: Hahahaha
*Helstrom starts giving orders and assumes command. Red laughs at him. They tell him “Do you think we got rid of a good captain so we can have a bad one? We’re through with captains on this ship” They throw him over the side*
Warlock: They should have just let him drown.
*Charlie laughs at him but Skipper lets him aboard. Carl pretends to drown him twice just for good measure. Denham makes it to Kong’s Island where the Chief (Noble Johnson) is waiting. He chucks a spear and tells them to get the fuck out because Kong wrecked the village*
Warlock: Can’t blame him.
*Skipper tries to make piece but Chief and his warriors send them away. They’re forced to find another place to land on the Island. The score from the first movie plays*
Neyz: So they must be rowing around the island?
Warlock: Yup, love this song.
Neyz: Their arms must be killing them.
*Neyz spots Hilda wearing a dress and heels*
Neyz: She’s gonna run around in that?
Warlock: No choice.
*Denham and Hilda go off exploring as Helstrom, Charlie and Skipper stay behind. Helstrom grabs a rifle and Denham says “A smart man like you don’t need a gun”
*Denham spots a little Kong. He’s stuck in the quicksand and can’t get out. Hilda says to help him, Denham doesn’t know how*
*Hilda says to tip over branches to save him. Denham tips a tree over and Little Kong climbs to safety. He walks off as Charlie, Skipper and Helstrom make their appearance. Denham tells Skipper there’s a little Kong. Skipper says not to tell Helstrom. Charlie, Skipper and Helstrom go one way, Denham and Hilda go another. Skipper, Charlie and Helstrom are chased by a Styracosaurus*
Warlock: Its a Styracosaurus, not a Triceratops. See the spiked shield on its head?
*A giant bear attacks Denham and Hilda*
Neyz: Why is everyone huge?
Warlock: Why are they using Ann Darrow’s voice for Hilda’s scream?
*Little Kong shows up and fights the bear*
Neyz: He’s smaller than the bear.
Warlock: Yeah, King Kong would annihilate the bear.
*Little Kong gets the upperhand with a head schissors and a headlocked punches. A big right cross knocks out the bear. Little Kong tries to appraise to Denham but the bear wakes up. Little Kong beats him away with a tree branch but hurts his hand. Carl “Say can he scrap just like his old man!”
Warlock: He beat him away with a tree branch.
*Hilda rips off part of her dress and tells Denham to bandage him up. Denham does so and earns Little Kong’s trust while remorsing over King Kong. He apologizes for King Kong and they walk off, Little Kong follows him*
Neyz: He’s just like pointing to it.
*Denham tries to pick coconuts off a tree but can’t reach. Little Kong shakes the tree and a bunch fall off, hitting them in the head. Denham “Hey look what you’re doing ya big dummy!”
Warlock: I wouldn’t insult him.
*Denham and Hilda talk near a campfire. She’s falling asleep. Little Kong checks on them*
Warlock: Hahaha look who’s there.
Neyz: He’s like “Duhhhh, do I stay?”
*Next morning Denham wakes up and fires a warning shot to get Skipper’s attention. Little Kong is sleeping nearby and wakes up. Denham tries to get the door to the temple open and can’t. Little Kong opens it for him. There’s gold treasure in there. The trio walk in and Kong hand the gold medallions. But then Kong picks up the rifle and breaks it. Denham calls him a big rummy*
Warlock: Ya big rummy.
*A dinosaur enters the cave and Kong jumps into action. Kong tombstone piledrives the dinosaur and snaps his neck*
Warlock: Undertaker would be proud.
*Skipper, Helstrom and Charlie show up as Little Kong shrugs and wanders off. Helstrom says there’s no treasure but Helstrom spots Little Kong and runs for the boat They all follow him except Denham who goes for the treasure. A sea dinosaur attacks and kills Helstrom*
Neyz: Well he’s mincemeat now.
Warlock: I don’t think anyone cares.
*An earthquake destroys the island. Charlie, Hilda and Skipper make it to the life boat and row as the whole Island begins to sink*
Warlock: Well they had to get rid of it somehow.
*Little Kong and Denham make it to the top of the island. Little Kong gets his foot struck but manages to save Denham before sinking below the waves*
Neyz: That sucks..
Warlock: I’m still trying to figure out how the hell the whole fucking island just went under after thousands of years.
*Denham, Hilda, Skipper and Charlie are just floating aimlessly. Denham holds up the medallion as Skipper spots a rescue ship. It picks up the survivors. Later on Hilda is with Carl. She asks what he’s thinking about. He asks if Kong knew he sacrificed himself to save him. Denham says when they get to shore they’re going their separate ways. She wants to stick with Denham. She hugs him*
Neyz: Awwww yayyy *claps*
Warlock: Short but sweet
Neyzor Blades Assessment: I give it at 7. It wasn’t bad but not great either.
The Warlock’s Assessment: I give it a 6. They rushed the end completely and it was only a little over an hour long. They could have done more but apparently didn’t want to.
Final Grade: 6.5 out of 10…..Very Good.
*The Warlock rises from the couch*
Warlock: Definitely not as good as the original but a good sequel nonetheless. It seemed rushed but that’s what happens when you shoot a sequel less than a year after filming the first. Well that wraps up another goodtastic adventure. Have a pleasant evening.