64. Rocky 6: Rocky Balboa (2006)

rocky

*Scroll of the name T-H-E-W-A-R-L-O-C-K appears as Warlock does push-ups in his basement. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt, maroon workout shorts and white sneakers*

Warlock: Welcome…to my lair….welcome….don’t think so…..enter….dare…..Warlock

*He drops and breathes heavy before getting to his feet and walks upstairs*

Warlock: Tonight we finish off the tribute to the theatrical release of Creed with the 6th and formerly final movie of the series, Rocky Balboa.

*Neyzor Blades is sitting in the recliner wearing all black*

Neyz: Its about time, you’ve been wearing that same outfit for days and you stink to high heavens.

Warlock: Nobody asked you. Anyway before Creed I felt this was the second best movie of the series behind the first. Rocky gets the urge to fight 15 years after retiring and he takes on the current heavyweight champion.

Neyz: How?

*Warlock takes his seat on the couch*

Warlock: Let’s find out, without further delay its time for Rocky Balboa.

 

*Warlock reads the tag-line*

Warlock: “Thirty years after the ring of the first bell, Rocky Balboa comes out of retirement and dons his gloves for his final fight; against the reigning heavyweight champ Mason ‘The Line’ Dixon”

Neyz: He just won’t quit. Every time he says he’s going to retire I’m like “That’s bullshit and you know it!”

 

*Movie opens with a scroll of ROCKY BALBOA to the Rocky theme*

Warlock: Goin old school!

 

*Mason “The Line” Dixon (Antonio Tarver) knocks out his opponent and the fans are bored*

Warlock: That’s the real life light heavyweight champion Antonio Tarver

 

*Fans pelt the ring with garbage as the announcers speculate if anybody can hang with Dixon*

Warlock: There’s your fight at the end.

 

*Opening credits with a new version of Take You Back by Frank Stallone and we’re introduced to an aged Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone)

Neyz: Where’s Uncle Paulie?

Warlock: He’s there.

 

*Rocky says hi to Cuff and Link*

Warlock: Turtles have a lifespan of 50 years, that could be them.

 

*Rocky and Paulie (Burt Young) visit the grave of Adrian*

Neyz: Did she not want to do it anymore?

Warlock: No, Stallone wanted the emotional aspect of losing his wife as part of the story, that’s why she was killed off. She was on board with it.

 

*Rocky asks Paulie if he’ll take the tour with him, Paulie says sure even though its Thanksgiving*

Warlock: This was set 30 years after the first movie.

 

*Rocky Jr aka Robert (Milo Ventimiglia) gets berated by his boss as Rocky looks on. Rocky invites Robert over for dinner but he refuses. Rocky asks if its him and Robert’s boss William Tomlinson (Robert Michael Kelly) wants a picture with Rocky*

Neyz: He just yelled at him!

 

*Rocky buys groceries for his restaurant Adrian’s, opened in 1995*

Warlock: That’s the Victor Cafe in real life in Philly.

Neyz: Opened in 1995

Warlock: Yeah, 5 years after beating the shit out of Tommy Gunn

 

*Isabel (Ana Genera) complains about Spider Rico (Pedro Lovell) sitting and reading his bible. Rocky goes downstairs and checks on the cooks then tells old boxing stories to his patrons*

Warlock: That’s his tribute to Jack Dempsey. He used to do that after he retired. By the way that’s the same actor who played Spider Rico in the first movie.

 

*Dixon watches film of his fight and is mad as Robert cancels on his father. He goes on the tour beginning with the old pet shop J & M Tropical Fish. They then visit Mick’s old gym and the sign is falling apart. Paulie “I ain’t no talking building”

Neyz: Look how old they are!!

 

*They visit Rocky’s old apartment from the first movie. He reminisces about Adrian as Paulie asks if he’s done. They then visit the site of the old ice rink. Paulie is increasingly angry*

Neyz: Why is he such a grump? Is this an anniversary?

Warlock: Yeah, Thanksgiving.

 

*Rocky asks what’s wrong with Paulie. Paulie says stop living in the past. He says Rocky treated Adrian good,he treated her bad. He can’t do this anymore*

Warlock: He loves her.

 

*Rocky goes to his old bar now called Lucky Seven Tavern. He runs into Marie (Geraldine Hughes)*

Warlock: That was supposed to be the original actress but for some reason Stallone went with this actress.

 

*Angie (Angela Boyd) wants Rocky to buy her and her friends around. Rocky rejects her and she insults him walking away*

Neyz: Wow what a bitch.

 

*Rocky volunteers to drive Marie home. Marie says she got married but the guy took off. She has a son.  The dude from the bar, two girls and Angie walk outside and insult them. Rocky gets out of the car, goes up to the dude, threatens to beat him up and the dude apologizes. He gets back in the car and Marie smiles*

Neyz: He better not come out with a gun, that’s how it is nowadays.

 

*Dixon goes up to his old trainer Martin (Henry G Sanders). Meanwhile Rocky and Marie look at her slumlord apartment. He says the old club from the first movie is down the street. Rocky sees a white kid and a black kid and Marie says her kid resembles him. She says her son is the black kid Steps (James Francis Kelly III). Rocky asks if he’s mad at him and she says no. Rocky says his goodbye but thinks twice about it. Rocky invites them to his restaurant in his own goofy way*

Neyz: Is he giving her shit?

Warlock: No, he’s being nice.

 

*Dixon talks with Martin and Martin says he needs to be challenged. He says when he’s battered, bruised and his opponent isn’t running, that’s when he finds out he’s a real man.*

Warlock: Good character development

 

*Rocky takes pictures with restaurant patrons but Isabel tells him Spider went downstairs. Spider is doing the dishes and tells Rocky he got lucky last time, let him work*

Warlock: I love it.

 

*Rocky walks upstairs and Marie and Steps are there. Meanwhile Robert is at an Irish pub with his friends. They watch a computer simulated fight between Mason Dixon and Rocky Balboa. Dixon also watches. Chuck Johnson says Balboa would win because he fought tougher opponents. Bernard Fernan. Robert is miffed. Bert Randolph Sugar picks Dixon to win. The computer fight has Balboa knocking him out*

Warlock: This was based off the Marcaiano/Ali computer fight where Marciano won.

 

*The Irish pub cheers as Robert is angry. Meanwhile Rocky drives Steps and Marie home. Rocky asks if Steps wants a job. Marie asks why Rocky is being nice and Rocky plugs in a new light-bulb outside her apartment that damn near blinds him*

Warlock: That was a real reaction, he didn’t expect that.

 

*Rocky brings Steps to the dog pound. They find a ragged looking dog and Rocky says its deceptive because if he was cleaned up, he’d be great. Steps wants to call him Fleabag. Rocky says no, Steps says Punchy. Rocky likes it*

Neyz: That dog won best supporting actor.

Warlock: Hey that’s my line!

 

*Paulie walks in wearing his meat market outfit. He calls Punchy ugly*

Neyz: I love him.

 

*Paulie makes anti-semetic remarks and Spider Rico stares at him*

Warlock: Bahaha.

 

*LC Luco (AJ Benza), Mason’s manager is mad Dixon lost the fight. ESPN analysts say Rocky could have had no chance in real life and he was overrated. Balboa is hurt*

Neyz: Aww his pride is hurt.

 

*Rocky confronts Robert and says he wants to fight, Robert says its his ego talking. Robert says its a different world now. Rocky wants Robert in his corner and says “Home team?” Robert says no without being mean and gives him a hug. Meanwhile Paulie in the meat market tells Rocky he’s nuts while painting.*

Warlock: That’s Burt Young’s actual painting, he really could paint.

 

*Rocky says he still has stuff inside. Paulie asks him to talk about it. Rocky goes on an emotional rant saying there’s a beast inside him. It wasn’t supposed to be that hard losing Adrian. He asks Paulie for help training and Paulie says he can’t. Rocky walks away sad*

Warlock: Feeling emotional yet?

Neyz: It sucks, trying to block it out.

 

*Rocky applies for a new fighter’s license. The medical tests came back great and he says as human beings they deny him a license*

Warlock: So the brain damage from the 5th movie didn’t happen apparently.

 

*Rocky confronts them asking why can’t he fight. He goes on an epic speech saying nobody should tell him or anyone no. The older he gets the more he leaves behind*

Neyz: Sucks…

 

*Robert’s friends hand him a newspaper saying Balboa is healthy and indeed got his license. Robert is miffed. Meanwhile in Dixon’s camp, he tries to get Dixon to fight Balboa. LC says nobody wants to buy his ppvs and this fight could make millions. Dixon says he wants to go back to Martin and his roots*

Neyz: Wow, these guys are assholes.

 

*Robert brings Punchy to meet Marie. He asks Marie if she wants to replace Isabel when she goes on maternity leave. Marie is angered and Rocky wants to know why. He says dance with him because she’s dancing around her problems. He says she can say “Screw You Creepo” but he and Punchy will sit in the street and wave a bus down. Marie says there hasn’t been a bus there in 20 years. Rocky “Whew, that was a close call”. Marie agrees*

Warlock: He has a way to persuade people.

 

*Paulie gets fired from his job and in a blue shade of light, brings his paintings and big meat to the bar. Marie asks if he has a reservation, Paulie says “Do I look like an Indian?” Rocky asks what’s up and Paulie says he’s retired. Rocky says since when did they give retirees meat instead of watches. Paulie gets mad and screams that he’s got a watch. Rocky follows him and Paulie says he’ll be ok.  Marie says some guy wants to talk to him. It’s Dixon’s camp. LC and Lou Dibella (himself) try to convince Rocky to fight Dixon. Rocky says he wants to fight small and LC says to take the fight. The fight will be in Vegas and the gate will be ordered to charity. Rocky says he’ll think about it. LC says Dixon would have killed Balboa in Rocky’s prime*

Warlock: I highly doubt that.

 

*Rocky talks with Marie and Marie tells him to go for it. Rocky says he’s in. We cut to a press conference. Steps, Duke (Tony Burton), Paulie and Rocky on one side, LC and Dixon’s crew on the right. Duke says Rocky has a chance. Robert watches on tv disgusted. A reporter asks what happens if the loses, Dixon laughs it off but is continued to be pressed. He stands up and shouts he’s 33-0 and 30 knockouts and if he gets mad, Rocky gets hurt*

Neyz: I have no sympathy for the kid at all. He wasn’t there for him.

 

*Robert confronts Rocky outside and yells at him for going through with it*

Warlock: He’s wearing Jack Dempsey’s t-shirt to boot.

 

*Robert says he’s been living in Rocky’s shadow and he’s hurting him by taking the fight. Rocky then gives an epic speech saying something happened to Robert that stunted his growth as a person. He says he lost himself as a person and has to move forward. Rocky says he’s moving forward and he wants Robert to do it as well. “Until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life” Rocky goes back inside while Robert stands outside and ponders*

Warlock: Great life advice.

 

*Rocky sits at Adrian’s grave and Robert joins him. He asks if Robert got off early from work, Robert says he quit. Robert says he didn’t fit in*

Warlock: Wow, first Paulie gets laid off and now Robert quits. Neither one of them have a job.

Neyz: Apparently Adrian died in 2002.

 

*Robert says he’ll help train Rocky. They share a hug*

Neyz: Finally, ya bum!

 

*Duke says he can’t run, spar or move because of arthritis and being old. The only thing they have left is raw power. Duke “Let’s build some bombs!”  We get a montage of Rocky and Dixon training with the Rocky theme. Rocky is being trained by Duke, Paulie, Steps, Punchy and Robert*

Warlock: Not bad for pushing 60 in this movie. He admitted to being on HGH, which is legal if you’re not a pro athelete.

 

*Rocky pounds the raw meat in the meat market after Paulie lets him in*

Warlock: One final F-U to the meat market.

 

*Rocky runs up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum with Punchy in the snow and holds him up*

Neyz: He’s a babies!

 

*At the weigh in, Dixon wants to talk alone. Dixon says he’ll carry him as long as he doesn’t fight back. Rocky says he didn’t come there to lose. Rocky “Ain’t you a little scared?” Dixon “I don’t get scared” Rocky tells Robert after Dixon leaves that you fight better when scared*

Warlock: He’s right.

 

*Marie knocks on Rocky’s hotel room door and hands him a picture of Adrian from the restaurant and Rocky says its going to bring him luck. Marie says tomorrow he’ll prove that the last thing that will age is someone’s heart. He gives him a kiss and leaves*

Neyz: Ugh, she kissed him.

Warlock: A friendly peck, it was nothing.

Neyz: Still, I’d be pissed.

Warlock: Adrian’s dead, geez, its not like they’re fucking.

 

*Jim Lampley, Larry Merchant and Max Kellerman (themselves) announce the fight. The fight is at the Mandalay Bay hotel in Vegas. The “unappreciated” champion Dixon takes on the “ex-ex-ex champion” Rocky Balboa.  Rocky gets a pre-fight prayer from Spider Rico as he makes his way to the ring. Paulie says to get rid of the damn beast inside. “Please, I love you.”

Neyz: Yeah, he’s sick of the back and forth shit too.

 

*Rocky makes his entrance with High Hopes from Frank Sinatra as his theme. He enters with Spider, Paulie, Robert, Duke and Steps*

Neyz: If this was real life, I’d love to see this.

 

*The announcers says Rocky won’t last two rounds. Dixon makes his entrance and Steps loves the entrance theme*

Neyz: Was this Dixon’s theme in real life?

Warlock: Antonio Tarver? Maybe.

 

*Mike Tyson (himself) insults Dixon on his way to the ring*

Warlock: Hahahahahaha

 

*Michael Buffer (himself) says this fight is 10 rounds. Joe Cortez (himself) is the referee. Balboa is 217 pounds and his record is 57-23-1. Rocky is in shape and Dixon is 221 pounds, 33-0 with 30 knockouts. The crowd boos Dixon as Martin tells him he’s the champ. The announcers says Dixon isn’t in the best shape but Rocky is. The fight begins and Dixon tags him with a few jabs*

Warlock: Tarver is a lefty too.

 

*Dixon keeps tagging him as Rocky swings and misses. Rocky fights back and the crowd pops. The round ends with the two fighters trading blows. Dixon landed 59 punches, Rocky only 9. Martin says Dixon needs to respect him and Dixon asks what about his respect*

Warlock: He’s in for a rude awakening.

 

*Rocky goes down from a big left jab and the announcers says that’s it. Rocky gets up and Dixon goes back to work and knocks him down again. Rocky gets back up at 9 and Dixon says to Cortez to end it. Balboa stuns Dixon with a combination and Dixon breaks his hand on a rib shot. Rocky pounds the piss out of Dixon and knocks him down. Dixon gets up as the announcers says Dixon has never been challenged like this.  The bell rings*

Warlock: Remember when Martin says he’s never been challenged, now he has.

 

*Martin tells Dixon his hand will numb up in a few rounds. Rocky takes over round 3, 4 and 5*

Neyz: If he didn’t break his hand it would be different.

Warlock: That’s the point.

 

*Round 6 has a montage of everything Rocky’s been through in archive footage as he unloads on Dixon*

Warlock: His hand’s broken, he’s not in the best shape, he’s facing an opponent who won’t back down. This is how Dixon wins his respect.

 

*Round 9 has a flashback of Mickey telling him to run over him. They trade blows in the ring to end the round as the crowd goes wild.  Dixon is exhausted and Rocky says he’s going out the way he’s gotta go out. Paulie “The last round of your life!”  Dixon touches gloves “You’re one crazy old man” Rocky “You’ll get there” The announcers are stunned. “This fight gave Dixon on the job training in courage”

Warlock: My favorite line

 

*Rocky gets knocked down in round 10 and talks to himself to get back up. Dixon is stunned. Rocky goes to town with blows before they trade blows to end the round. The bar explodes as Rocky tells Dixon he’s great champion with heart. Robert says it was the greatest thing he’s ever seen. Rocky tells Paulie the beast is gone now. Rocky hugs his entourage as Martin tells Dixon THAT’S what he was talking about. Rocky and his crew leaves before the decision is announced. Rocky waves to the crowd as Dixon is announced the winner by split decision*

Warlock: The right decision.

 

*Rocky brings flowers to Adrian’s grave and says he couldn’t have done it without her. “Yo Adrian, we did it.”

Neyz: Hmmm

 

*Rocky leaves and the credits roll.During the credits a bunch of people run up the stairs of the art museum and imitate Rocky.*

Neyz: *claps* Yayyyyy

 

Neyzor Blades assessment: I don’t know. 8 out of 10. It was different and they filmed the fight kind of cheesy. I liked the dirty and grunginess of the previous fights without all the flashbacks.

Warlock’s assessment: I said this was the second best movie behind the first one until Creed came along. The story was outstanding, the acting was top notch and the ending was perfect. I give it a 9.5 out of 10, the only thing I didn’t like was they cut WAY too much out of the movie. There’s supposed to be additional character development scenes including one where Paulie says he loves and misses Adrian.  You can see them in the dvd special features but still.

Final Grade: 9 out of 10 – Awesome

 

*Warlock rises from the couch*

Warlock: Well that’s it for the Rocky movies…all 6 of them. All in ranging quality from decent to best of all time. Well there’s only one thing left to do…

Neyz: Don’t tell me you’re going to do Creed now…

Warlock: No….I’m gonna take a shower.

*Warlock leaves*

Neyz: Finally, have a pleasant evening.

 

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